Relationships & SexDr Angela

Our sexpert Dr Angela answers your questions on fetishes and sex toys

Dr AngelaBy Dr. Angela Brokmann
A foot fetishist - or podophiliac - gets sexually excited by seeing, touching or kissing feet
A foot fetishist - or podophiliac - gets sexually excited by seeing, touching or kissing feet

Is there anything you always wanted to know about sex but were too shy to ask?

Do you have a problem that keeps bothering you, or is there something you’re just curious about?

Whatever might be on your mind – don’t be shy to ask.

I’ve been a sex expert for more than 25 years, and have answered thousands of questions from basic to extremely kinky – but people still surprise me the odd time with a question I’ve never been asked before.

Here are some of the ones I have received recently on sexual fetishes and sex toys.


FETISH

Can you play bondage, but without all the hard stuff like ropes and chains?

Sure – play bondage light. Use soft, breakable materials and loose knots that you can get out off anytime. For extra kicks, play with feathers, blindfolds, ice cubes, nipple clamps and chains, whatever you fancy. Discuss beforehand what you have in mind. And even if you only play bondage light, you should still agree on a safe word that immediately puts a stop to whatever is going on.

I’d like to cross-dress in female lingerie for sex - How can I get this across to my wife without risking my marriage?

The best way is a playful approach. Buy your wife some sexy lingerie that fits YOU, present it to her then playfully grab a piece, try it on and see how your wife reacts. If she plays along, fine. And if she looks annoyed, you can just back off and leave it, without any harm done. By the way, there is a good chance that your wife already knows about your fetish, even if she never mentioned a word about it.

What is foot fetishism all about?

A foot fetishist – or podophiliac - gets sexually excited by seeing, touching or kissing feet. Many foot fetishists desire bare feet, others have a stocking, pantyhose or shoe fetish as well. Some folks become aroused by simply thinking of feet, others feel a strong desire to touch feet or to rub themselves off them. While this surely is not to everybody’s taste, foot fetishism is one of the more popular fetishes in Ireland.

Can dancing be a sex fetish, and is there a proper word for it?

Dancing has a very strong erotic component for many people, and it can indeed be a fetish. If somebody is sexually obsessed with dancing you'd call him or her a choreophiliac.


SEX TOYS

Is it ok and safe to use a vibrator?

Yes – as long as you choose one that’s not so big that it leaves you sore. And, of course, you need to keep it clean. In case you’re worried that you might get hooked to a vibrator, that’s very unlikely to happen.

How do you play with Geisha balls?

Geisha balls are inserted into the vagina for sexual stimulation. At the same time they train the vaginal muscle. This pleasurable exercise can strengthen the vagina and enhance a woman’s ability to squeeze and tease her partner’s penis during intercourse.

What is a vibrating condom, how does it work?

A vibrating condom is a condom with a vibrating ring looped around it. You can’t compare it with a vibrator, but many folks like the feeling. You can use the condom only once, but some rings can be used repeatedly, depending on make and model.

I’d like to buy some sex toys, but I’m not sure whether a woman can visit a sex shop by herself?

Sure, it’s no big deal anymore if a woman goes adult-shopping by herself. If you feel uncomfortable on your own, bring your best friend along, or go with a bunch of girls first to check out the grounds. And if you see something interesting, you just sneak back later to make your purchase.