Pat Spillane: Don’t be fooled by the hype – Gaelic football is a borefest

I doubt if I’m alone. I imagine 99pc of the Irish population haven’t a clue whether Evan Boland is a type of biscuit or an Irish poet.

Yet during Joe Biden’s Presidential visit nearly every speech included the obligatory poetry quote.

It seemed like there were extra marks for quoting an Irish poet, the more obscure the better.

This poetry love-in peaked when ex-President Mary Robinson recited an entire Evan Boland poem during her warm-up address to 20,000 people in Ballina prior to the US President’s arrival.

Me thinks she lost the audience.

But in the spirit of the moment I decided to go with the flow this morning.

Monaghan’s surprise win over Tyrone – the fourth shock result in the two-week-old championship – inspired me to quote the county’s greatest poet and former Inniskeen Grattans goalkeeper Patrick Kavanagh.

“We never finished a game if towards the end we were a-bating.

“We always found an excuse to rise a row and get the field invaded.”

Monaghan didn’t need to resort to these underhand tactics from the 1930s to achieve a notable win.

After an enjoyable first half what happened after the break was exceptional.

It had everything one demands from a sporting contest.

Afterwards we heard phrases like ‘What’s wrong with Gaelic football? ‘Who said Gaelic football was boring and predictable?’ ‘The Ulster championship never disappoints’ being bandied about.

So, I can’t help but adopt my grumpy George Hook persona and reiterate his famous comment ‘hold the horses and back up the caravan for the second.’

Modern day football IS boring and predictable.

As for the Ulster championship never disappointing, the first two games in the 2023 series featured a nine point win for Armagh over Antrim while Derry beat Fermanagh by 12 points.

So, let’s have a reality check. Of course, we witnessed a damn good match in Omagh.

It provides us with a glimmer of hope. But one swallow never made a summer. I wouldn’t get carried away yet.

There is a simply explanation as to why the second half turned into a classic.

Monaghan threw off the shackles, released the handbrake and played without fear.

They played a running game, deployed front foot football and transitioned the ball quickly. And when Darren Hughes went off injured they more or less abandoned using a sweeper.

I literally jumped from my chair when Ryan O’Toole scored the winning goal deep in injury time.

David Attenborough wouldn’t have been more excited if he spotted a Javan rhino in the jungles of Indonesia. O’Toole backed himself and took the risk. A Eureka moment.

Monaghan’s second half intensity meant they outdid Tyrone at their own game.

Having managed only three shots on goal in the first half compared to Tyrone’s 15 Vinny Corey’s side hit 1-3 from opponent’s turnovers in the third quarter.

Will Monaghan win the All-Ireland? Sorry to burst the bubble but the answer is no.

Meanwhile, Tyrone seem to have an on/off button.

When the ‘on’ button is pressed their speed of action and thought is top class as we seen in the first half.

But their button was switched to ‘off’ in the second half. They brought no intensity to their play and their trademark swarm defence was missing.

Here another worrying statistic for them. Ten of their 19 scores came from frees – many of the soft variety – and they kicked nine wides.

The result was less a shock than the decision to give Conor McManus the Man of the Match award.

I imagine he was the most surprised man in Omagh when the announcement was made. Though a brilliant servant of Monaghan football he wasn’t the best player last Sunday.

So, after two weeks’ of action two All-Ireland contenders, Mayo and Tyrone are out of the provincial championship. I doubt if either give a tuppence.

Remember this is not like the old days. Neither face a potentially hazardous trek through the qualifiers.

They were third seeds in the All-Ireland series before the provincial series began and they are still third seeds.

They can refocus now away from the limelight whereas their conquerors Roscommon and Monaghan have win another big game in order to be second seeds in the group stages of the All-Ireland.

Just for the record I don’t think this Tyrone squad is capable of winning an All-Ireland in July.

By the way it is often overlooked how big a factor the wind can still play in games.

It wasn’t even mentioned on the RTE coverage that Tyrone had the advantage of the elements in the first half. As I suspected it was worth four or five points.

It would be futile to offer any serious analysis of the Derry v Fermanagh quarter-final.

Fermanagh played like a team whose priority was the Tailteann Cup.

They were innocent and naïve in their defending and never got to the pace of the game.

Derry did look impressive. Their attacking play continues to catch the eye – they commit more players to attack than most teams; their running on and off the ball is impressive as is their capacity (albeit against a poor defence) to get their runners into space.

They are definitely contenders but having watched them struggle in Croke Park against Galway and Dublin they are capable of chasing a game if they fall behind.

It will prove a fatal flaw later on in the season.