Roisin Gorman: ‘How do throuples decide who to argue with over who does the dishes?’

Well, first there was a tiny gasp and the faintest whisper of envy at so much perfectly formed flesh.

They could at least have the decency to flash a bit of cellulite as a crumb of comfort to the post-Christmas bingers. But no, it was abs all the way.

Then David’s message, ‘If a picture says a thousand words then this one says exactly what it needs to’ set the cat among the polyamorous pigeons.

Add another super glam image of the three consenting adults holding hands at dinner and Haye’s comment in an interview, ‘What I do behind closed doors is between me and the girls involved’, and suddenly I was Googling ‘throuple’ like a woman who doesn’t care about her online algorithm.

I’m still trying to work out which search led to a slew of ads for concealed gun holsters in a life full of sofa offers and “find your best mascara” posts.

The first lesson is that ‘throuple’ is a linguistic collision of three and couple — not a threesome, which is a hell-for-leather sexathon (I imagine) between three people of whatever gender.

A throuple, which tends to be one man and two women, but doesn’t have to be, is more of a committed relationship where there are boundaries — the same as monogamous relationships, except there are three people to argue with over who does the dishes.

A 2020 survey of UK adults revealed that nearly a third of people liked the idea of polyamory but only 0.5pc per cent were in a non-monogamous relationship, confirming most people’s initial reaction of ‘could you be bothered’.

Rita Ora recently scoffed at suggestions she and rumoured husband Taika Waititi are in a throuple with Marvel actor Tessa Thompson, so it’s not for everyone.

But Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have admitted they’ve tried a bit of polyamory, although punchy Will’s not a great advert for anything now.

All the info out there stresses the importance of communication between a loved-up trio who must share their needs in a mature manner — particularly if a third person joins an already established couple.