35 things we learned from this year’s series of Love Island

Love it or hate it, everyone is delighted it’s over but before the dust settles on season eight let’s take a moment to focus on the things that we learned from the reality TV show.

1. Love Island is utter garbage once the Movie Madness Week drama is finished. Changes needed for next year.

2. A resting bitch face does not always belong to a bitch

3. Laura Whitmore can’t present TV when forced to go off script, like when she had to interview anyone.

4. Jesus H Christ...Men are d******ds

5. 'Casa Amor' deserves folklore status for the utter carnage it creates.

6. The best couple won. Was it just me or did Davide seem like he was there for a holiday and not to find fame? How wildly refreshing.

7. I’ve more than a sneaking suspicion that Nathalie’s pancakes were better than Ekin-Su’s but Davide was told which one to pick as the winner

8. They do not need a presenter on the show. They should save themselves the £600k. And if they do need a presenter Joanne McNally should get the gig because she’s the only person I’ve ever seen go on the after show and actually tell the truth.

9. The Liam and Jacques exits proves that the show producers have matured.

10. The show has become more contrived and scripted than ever before.

11. But this year (for weeks 1-6 anyway) was the best season so far.

12. You don’t have to be an OG to win. Neither Ekin-Su or Davide were Day 1ers.

13. Gaslighting is alive and well among men of a certain age and persuasion.

14. When Love Island announce two weeks before launch that there will be a deaf contestant on the show they really should have clarified that she had had a cochlear implant (I genuinely thought they were all going to have to learn sign language to crack on and that Tasha would be sitting there not hearing her texts)

15. Can we all just breathe a sigh of relief that Gem-meh and Puka didn’t win???

16. Yes Andrew…Licking the boob of another girl is in fact considered cheating

17. Dami is in fact not Deji.

18. Is there such a thing as ‘Standing courses’ because Afia needs a crash course.

19. The stupid ‘share or steal’ gimmick thing at the finale has rightfully been axed.

20. Who thought a wee little night crawl along the terrace would be one of the highlights of the series?

21. Everything about Davide. Just everything.

22. Jack Keating proved the Irish charm and fame is not a guarantee.

23. And apparently his dad is now retired. Well, Jack thinks so anyway. Which will be disappointing to hear for fans who have bought tickets to his upcoming tour.

24. Billy is not allowed breathe the same air as Gemma.

25. Luca was this year’s Jake the Snake. Goading all the kids into cheating and tripping up to try and make himself look better. Being a 23-year-old bloke does not excuse his behaviour.

26. Indiyah is worse at the recorder than my 8-year-old daughter, which is saying a lot.

27. Apparently there was a girl named Chyna on the show at one point! And a Samuel and a Jasmine! Who knew?

28. Adam Collard came across quite well. Still don’t trust him though. Paige’s mum is right to be sceptical.

29. While on the subject…Paige’s mum needs her own show. And Tasha’s dad too.

30. It’s ok for men to cry.

31. ‘You are a liar’ (said in a cartoon-like Italian accent) is this year’s ‘it is what it is!’

32. Luca is a child. They won’t last until Christmas.

33. Dami would make a great dad. He’d be a b****x of a boyfriend, but a great dad.

34. Any live aspect of this series was shite. How can they get it so wrong?

35. The music on Love Island is actually brilliant. I’ve had Becky Hill on repeat since.