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utter terror Ellie Goulding says she suffered ‘debilitating’ panic attacks and exercise obsession due to fame

Ellie says her 'lowest days were ridiculously low'


Ellie Goulding spoke of her battle with panic attacks

Ellie Goulding spoke of her battle with panic attacks

Ellie Goulding spoke of her battle with panic attacks

Singer Ellie Goulding reveals she suffered “debilitating” panic attacks and an addiction to exercise at the height of her fame.

The singer who recently had her first child with husband Caspar Jopling has shared details of her struggle with mental health in her new book, Fitter. Calmer. Stronger.

The 34-year-old revealed during the height of her fame in her 20s, her “lowest days were ridiculously low”, and she often felt “complete euphoria and utter terror” in the same week.

“My low days used to be ridiculously low. I just couldn't find a way out of them. I often felt as if I was failing because when I felt down I wasn't being productive,” she shared in an extract her book, reported by the Sun.

“My voice, my music and writing will always be my mysterious, unpredictable, fiery friend for life.

“But even if I write something I love, I can't always rely on it to make me feel good. I often write my best songs when I'm feeling miserable.”

The singer found fame at just 24 years of age after leaving university to make music.

Recalling the TV appearances, award ceremonies and travelling, she said it was like being “strapped to a space shuttle” and that she could visit “three different countries in one day”.

She said her successful career was a “dream come true”, however she began suffering with panic attacks in the 20s.

The singer said her attacks began slowly, and wrote candidly in her book that she experienced a panic attack on a photoshoot and a live TV show, which she cannot watch back.

In the book, she recalls how she ended up in hospital after a panic attack after a friend’s father passed away.

She admitted that she delayed seeking professional help due to “shame and confusion”, and eventually received therapy, including cognitive behavioural therapy.

Ms Goulding said the help she received was “life changing” and fitness soon became her “sanctuary”.

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However, this sanctuary soon became what she described as a “prison”, as she used it to distract herself. It also led to a poor diet and obsession with burning calories.

In the book she reveals she “clashed massively with her stepfather” and that there was a lot of tension, stress, and anxiety in the home. The book follows her journey dealing with her mental health and how she now uses exercise to deal with her anxiety.

Fitter. Calmer. Stronger is out September 2.

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