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Wife is trying to dominate me outside of the bedroom

Ask the Experts


Domination should be limited to the bedroom.

Domination should be limited to the bedroom.

Domination should be limited to the bedroom.

Dear Angela:

Last year I (52) confessed to my wife (44) that I'd love to be submissive to her in bed. To my surprise she wasn't shocked but jumped on the idea; it was like she'd had the same fantasy.

I was so happy - my wife played the dominant part in bed and I was submissive. She made me beg for sex, she told me what to do, she only let me climax with her permission. I know it sounds crazy, but it was the best time I've ever had.

The only problem is that my wife is taking this power play too far now. She tries to dominate me in our everyday life as well, and that's not on. She can't manipulate me and boss me around only because I'm submissive in bed, but she doesn't seem to understand that. Maybe I should stop this submission play altogether?

Answer: It's perfectly OK to play the submissive part in your sex life, but your wife needs to understand that your dominance play is for the bedroom only. In your everyday life, you should maintain a healthy power balance and your wife needs to understand and accept that.

Talk to her and work out rules between you; it's important to set up boundaries and to clarify what you can or can't do with and to each other.


Bedding two women is a dream for many.

Bedding two women is a dream for many.

Bedding two women is a dream for many.


Should I decline threesome offer?

Dear Angela:

I (27) can't believe what happened to me: I met two girls, and after a few drinks they invited me to their flat for a threesome.

I always wanted to have a threesome with two girls - it's one of those dreams I've had forever.

But I only liked one of the girls. To be honest, and without meaning to be rude, I could never get drunk enough to sleep with the second one.

Sadly, I had to decline their offer, but they gave me their number and told me to give them a ring if I ever change my mind. I'm tempted to ring them, but I only want to make love to one of the girls.

The other one can watch, but that's as far as I would go with her. Do you think that it's okay if I suggest that to the girls or would it be rude?

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Answer: No, that wouldn't go down too well. If you accept the invitation for a threesome with two women, both of them expect some action.

You can't just spoil one of them and push the other aside to watch.

Only go for a threesome if you are willing to give both girls involved the same amount of attention.

Fling with a hubby

Query: I (45) had an affair with a married man (39). For the first year we kept it secret but then he left his wife and moved in with me. Now all of a sudden he has decided to go back to his wife. What should I do?

Answer: If your boyfriend went back to his wife to save his marriage you should accept his decision. It might not be fair on you, but it's a risk you take when you start a relationship with a married man.

Horny for champers?

Query: One of my mates said that you can make women horny with champagne. Is that true?

Answer: Champagne is a well-known aphrodisiac, but that doesn't mean every woman will be keen to sleep with you only because you opened an expensive bottle. A less expensive bubbly like cava or prosecco might not be as impressive, but works almost as well.


  • Email your problems to Dr Angela Brokmann
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