I'm too timid and shy for sex in the park with fella

Ask the expert: Sort your sexual problems with honest and practical tips

By Dr Angela Brokmann

Dear Angela

My boyfriend (28) wants to have sex with me in a public park.

That sounds like fun, but I (25) can't do it. I've never done anything like that - I only ever had sex in bed and with the lights off.

I wish I was a bit more adventurous, but I'm extremely shy and have no idea what I could do to get over being so timid and nervous all the time.

My boyfriend pointed out that I'm missing out on a lot of fun, and he's right.

I'd really like to give this sex-in-the park adventure a try, if I could only overcome my shyness.

Answer: If you only ever made love in your bed with the lights off, having sex in a public park is a big move. To overcome your shyness, take smaller steps first.

For starters, make love in your bedroom with the lights on. Explore potential hot spots around your home, from your couch to your bathtub or kitchen counter.

Once you feel comfortable with that, proceed to more adventurous places. Keep in mind that sex in public can get you into trouble if somebody sees you and feels offended. You need to choose time and location carefully. Above all, stay clear of places where children might see you.

My girlfriend just laughs at porn

Dear Angela

My girlfriend (32) finally agreed to watch a porn movie with me. It was a big deal for her - she'd never watched one before and was sure that she wouldn't like it. I expected her to be disgusted by the movie and to give out to me. But I got a completely different reaction that I didn't see coming at all: she laughed throughout the movie, like it was a comedy, and that was so annoying. Why can't my girlfriend be like other people and like porn?

Answer: When it comes to porn, men and women tend to have completely different tastes.

While men are into hardcore porn with explicit scenes that leave nothing to the imagination, most women prefer erotic soft porn with a bit of a story line.

If you're not into hardcore, porn scenes can indeed look comical, so don't blame your girlfriend for laughing. Laughing can also be a cover-up for embarrassment.

So whatever happened, I'm sure your girlfriend didn't just laugh to annoy you. If you want to give it another try, go for soft porn the next time around, or choose an erotic movie together.

Explain candle position

Query: My husband (47) and I (36) tried out the candle position but I quickly lost my balance. What was I doing wrong?

Answer: Lie flat on your back then lift your legs and bum up, with your toes pointing upwards.

Let your arms rest on the ground. When your husband kneels in front of you, move your legs until they lean against his shoulders for support. Get him to place his hands under your bum. If still wobbly, move your hands onto your husband's legs.

Not ready for sex yet

Query: My boyfriend (17) puts me under pressure to sleep with him, but we've only been together for three months and I (17) don't feel ready yet.

He insists that we should do it because it would make his penis grow.

Answer: No, don't sleep with your boyfriend unless you really feel ready to do so. Sex wouldn't make his penis grow anyway.

Don't let your boyfriend put you under pressure. There is a good chance that his penis will still grow a bit at his age.

  • Email your problems to Dr Angela Brokmann dr.angela@sundayworld.com
  • All pictures are posed by models

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