Dear Angela: | 

I’m pregnant and husband is nervous about having sex

Being pregnant shouldn’t stop you having sex.

Being pregnant shouldn’t stop you having sex.

Ask the Experts and sort your sexual problems with honest and practical tips from Dr Angela Brokmann

Dear Angela: MY husband (39) and I (33) are expecting our first baby. The first few months of my pregnancy I felt a bit sick, but now I'm almost six months pregnant and feel better than ever. Even my sex drive has come back, but unfortunately my husband wants to wait for sex until after the baby is born.

He hasn't touched me in months, and I really miss that.

He is afraid that sex might hurt me or the baby, although my gynaecologist assured me that everything is fine and that I can have sex as long as I feel OK and I'm comfortable with it.

My husband is still worried, and that is so frustrating. What can I do to make him sleep with me?

Answer: Have a good chat with your husband; explain how you feel and assure him that your gynaecologist gave their approval to pregnancy sex.

If your husband is still reluctant, take him along to your next check-up. In the meantime, don't wait for him to make a move on you but take the initiative and try to seduce him.

If you initiate sex and play the more active role, your husband should feel more relaxed and comfortable, so there's a better chance that he'll play along.

Don’t be afraid to give love a chance.

Don’t be afraid to give love a chance.

Should we be more than friends?

Dear Angela

I (20) have been best friends with my mum's friend's son (21) all my life. We grew up together, we played together as toddlers, we went to school together and now we're both attending the same college.

We've both dated other people but we stayed best friends even then.

Now we're both single again and I finally realised that I'd like us to be more than friends. He's the one for me, and when I told him about my feelings he said that he feels the same.

That was three weeks ago and we still haven't moved on to the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, it's like we're both reluctant to make the first move.

We talked about it, and it turns out we are both worried that becoming a couple might ruin our friendship, and we don't want that to happen.

Answer: You can be a couple and best friends at the same time. The risk is that if you ever break up as a couple, it will be very hard to go back to being just friends.

But if you are really close and have cared deeply about each other all your lives, you should get over that hurdle - if it ever comes along. Don't let your fears keep you from becoming more than friends; give your love a chance.

Too tall for sex?

Query: MY new girlfriend (26) is 6ft2in tall; that's seven inches taller than I am. I'm nervous when it comes to sex. Can we have sex just the normal way with me on top, or would that be too awkward?

Answer: Relax, there is no need to worry; most sex positions will work perfectly fine for you, and that includes the most basic position with you on top. With your girlfriend on top your difference in height won't matter either. Just enjoy yourselves.

Teen’s oral sex question

Query: MY daughter (14) asked me whether she can get pregnant when a guy gives her oral sex. I didn't know what to say as she's too young. Maybe I could discuss contraception in general with her?

Answer: Answer her question. Tell her girls can't get pregnant from receiving oral sex. It's important your daughter knows about these topics before she becomes sexually active, then talk about contraception and safe sex.

Get in touch with our team of top professionals:  Email your problems to

  • Dr Angela Brokmann
  • Maura O’Neill

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