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I gave him a sexy show and he didn’t even appreciate it

Ask the experts


Save amateur dramatics for the stage, not the bedroom.

Save amateur dramatics for the stage, not the bedroom.

Save amateur dramatics for the stage, not the bedroom.

Dear Angela: MY boyfriend (38) and I (34) had sex for the first time the other night. I put on my best show.

I licked my lips and pinched my nipples while looking into his eyes, I cupped my breasts with my hands and then let my hands glide down my body, I kissed my finger and then put it to my boyfriend's lips. We had great sex, but afterwards he said that all the lewd moves I made looked so funny that he almost cracked up laughing. That was so rude.

I was trying to be sexy, and the stuff I did worked for all the other guys I had sex with. I mean, all guys like a sexy show. What's wrong with my new boyfriend?

Answer: There's nothing wrong with your new boyfriend. He could have been a bit more sensitive and diplomatic, but he was only being honest with you.

He surely didn't mean any harm, so forgive him.

I know you meant well and tried to spoil your boyfriend, but while it's true that many guys like some sleazy play-acting in bed, others don't, especially if it's obvious that you're putting on a show. You don't need to go to all that trouble.

To avoid such awkward situations in future, try to act a bit more natural in bed. Do what you feel like doing but don't go overboard.


The toy may not be for everyone.

The toy may not be for everyone.

The toy may not be for everyone.


What is a ‘parachute’ sex toy?

Dear Angela: When I (29) went out with the girls last Friday, I noticed a gorgeous bloke sitting by himself. I looked over to him a couple of times and noticed that he was kind of squirming on his seat, like he was uncomfortable.

When I pointed it out to the girls, one of them laughed and said the guy is squirming like that because he's wearing a parachute all the time, some kind of kinky sex toy that's hurting his testicles.

I didn't believe her, but one of the other girls had heard about it as well. So I guess it's true then. Now I'm curious, what kind of toy were the girls talking about? What is a parachute?

Answer: A parachute - or 'ball stretcher' - is a wide collar that wraps around the scrotum. It comes with chains and hooks that you can attach weights to, making it literally look like a mini parachute. The little self-torture toy is designed to pull the testicles away from the body, stretching the scrotum in the process.

For an extra intense experience you can pull on the chains or attach additional weights. Parachutes are not for the faint-hearted as they can cause a good bit of discomfort. They might not be mainstream toys, but a surprising number of guys have tried them.

I'm a panty sniffer

Query: I (24) secretly keep some of my girlfriend's worn panties in my bedside drawer, and I touch and sniff them when I masturbate. That's weird, isn't it?

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Answer: No, touching and sniffing your girlfriend's worn panties is not weird at all; lots of guys do it. Masturbating over your loved one's underwear - be it panties, knickers, or boxers - can make the experience a lot more intimate, personal and pleasurable.

Changing condoms?

Query: When my boyfriend (26) and I (21) have sex we usually change positions at least twice. Should we change the condom every time we change position?

Answer: If you change from one vaginal position to another there is no need to change the condom, as long as your partner doesn't ejaculate or the condom gets damaged. You do need to change the condom if you switch from anal sex to vaginal intercourse.


Email your problems to:

  • Dr Angela Brokmann dr.angela@sundayworld.com
  • Maura O’Neill maura.oneill@sundayworld.com

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