Roisin Gorman’s Open Letter… on sleeping in makeup
The last time I left the house without mascara the nice lady in the local shop thought I was sick and offered me water
In the curiously personal world of things to make you go ‘ew’, the delightful Kim Kardashian has hit on a new one — sleeping in her makeup. Kim the Incredible has previously confessed to the mother of all skincare sins, and recently doubled down on her kipping in slap habit. It’s like Gigi Hadid admitting she doesn’t brush her teeth. Just thinking about it induces that feeling of dry tightness when you wake up and realise last night’s foundation is now spread across your pillow. In Kim’s case, I suspect it’s not a habit caused by one glass too many before tripping over the cat and under the duvet. In fact, she admits if there’s an early start the next day she’ll do her face the night before, sleep like a corpse with lippy, roll perfectly out of bed to stun the world, and then that face will remain in place for the entire day. I can’t get eyeshadow to stay where it’s supposed to for ten minutes. I can’t even get a few days out of a blow-dry. One enthusiastic night’s sleep and it becomes an entirely different creature by the next day. When the businesswoman says she’ll do her face, it means of course that a trained professional will spend a considerable amount of time on it. No wonder she doesn’t want to wash it off. Kim admits she can also swim and shower without her makeup budging an inch, which suggests someone is using the trowel application method. The curious timing of the makeup confession was shortly after the launch of her SKKN BY KIM skincare brand, which has led to a global shortage of capital letters. Its handy nine-step routine, just $630 for the full set, comes in packaging designed by ex-husband Kanye with his trademark eye for memorable design, so it’s round and beige and boring. In design speak, it’s a neutral palette. But before Kim is found guilty in the court of skincare, she tells us she learned the nighttime trick from makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury, who has admitted her husband has never seen her bare-faced. The brand queen has a routine of taking everything off before bedtime and then putting a little eye drama back on again. I suddenly don’t feel so bad for refusing to leave the house without mascara. The last time I did, the nice lady in the local shop thought I was ill — no one wants to be offered water and a chair for the sake of a little slap. Country legend Dolly Parton has insisted she sleeps in her makeup in case there’s an earthquake and she looks less than her best for the hazards of Mother Nature, although in Dolly’s case, there’s a very good chance she was joking. Cardi B can sometimes have her favourite artist work on her while the singer sleeps because she’s a busy working mum to daughter Kulture and little Wave. Kouldn’t help the name check there, sorry. While the habit makes me want to reach for a warm cloth and some cleanser, it’s the perfect antidote to the dreaded no-slap selfies which take off and run occasionally, a feast of virtue-signalling ‘look how natural I am’ which has me reaching for an extra lorryload of foundation in response. The worst part of Kim’s revelation is that I’ve now watched a five-minute interview with her. I bow to the stamina of anyone who’s done 20 series.