Roisin Gorman: ‘Somehow I ended up feeling sorry for millionaire Gwyneth Paltrow’
The ski-slope plaintiff really was taking the piste
Lifestyle guru, Oscar-winning gurner and now champion of oppressed millionaires everywhere, is there anything Gwyneth Paltrow can’t do?
In a week when another gun-toting nut carried out another school massacre in America, the Shakespeare in Love actor still managed to get more airtime with a court case about who crashed into who on a ski slope seven years ago.
It’s not as if we needed to know any more about Gwynnie, who’s shared every detail of her fabulous life from ‘conscious uncoupling’ – me and him are splitting up – to getting hammered recently for revealing her diet of fasting, bone broth, veg, coffee and vigorous exercise.
Other people have eating disorders. Paltrow practises wellness.
She was also practising ‘celebrity with no self-awareness’ in the case with retired optometrist Terry Sanderson, who tried to sue her for $300,000 for a skiing collision.
He initially wanted $3 million because this is America and keeping things in perspective is for wimps.
Gwyneth gave birth to a million memes with her assessment of the incident’s impact on her life, that she’d ‘lost half a day’s skiing’.
There are just no words for that level of hurt and devastation.
But she still looked like less of a drama queen than Sanderson who told the court of a ‘bloodcurdling scream’ as the collision happened, also described as a King Kong roar, which he acted out for the jury, before comparing Paltrow to dead paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. And they didn’t take him seriously?
Things really started to fall apart when he said his previously busy and fulfilled life had fallen apart because of the concussion and broken ribs that nobody noticed.
In the years following the collision he could only visit Morocco, Thailand, trek in Peru, float down the Amazon and ski in Germany, Switzerland, Italy and France. If he’s in peak health, he jogs up Everest.
He’d claimed there was GoPro footage of the incident which disappeared faster than an RUC file and insisted his relationship with his daughters and former partner had been damaged.
We didn’t learn how his cat was dealing with the incident.
His lawyer also raised eyebrows by continually sucking up to Paltrow about everything from her height to her tipping habits.
There was speculation it was an attempt to entrap her with niceness, but surely Gwynnie is used to being surrounded by people who are professionally fawning.
It’s her natural state of existence to be the most fabulous person in the room.
Mr Sanderson has now managed to land himself with all the court costs for the two-week case, which may put a dent in his holiday plans to bungee jump off the Moon.
Worse, he’s managed to make us feel sorry for Gwyneth.
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