Seeing red If you think watching an ad for a tampon is uncomfortable, try having one stuck skew-ways up your pelvis
If you think watching an ad for a tampon is uncomfortable, try having one stuck skew-ways up your pelvis.
A Tampax ad teaching women how to use one properly was banned from the box this week - and I'm seeing red.
The Advertising Standards Authority of Ireland pulled the advert after 84 people whinged about its bold "Get 'em up there, girls!" message.
Yanking the 30-second slot for Tampax Pearl Compak - the Tesla of tampons - for "general offence" on Wednesday, the ASAI explained: "Complaint volumes against an advertisement can be indicative of consumer sentiment. 80+ complaints, without prompting, provided evidence ... that the advertisement had caused widespread offence."
And we're the Feminazis?
For once, we can't even blame squeamish fellas for the embarrassing ban which has made headlines worldwide.
A further breakdown of the complaints revealed 83 per cent were lodged by Moaning Marys who found the promo "offensive", "crude", "vulgar" and "disgusting".
Most stupefying of all were those who believed it had some sort of "sexual innuendo" - because what could be hotter than twisting yourself into a balloon animal in a public toilet cubicle to ram a bit of cotton wool into your vagina?
Ladies (and the 17 per cent of lads), cop yourselves tamp-on.
Playing on hard rotation nightly, Procter & Gamble's chat show spoof would undeniably test your patience - and not just the tip.
But I don't for one moment buy that it's the brash delivery - and not the content - that got viewers' knickers in a twist.
After decades of marketing to the contrary, I know this may come as a shock to some, but when women menstruate, it's not blue liquid that comes out; nor is a close-up of a woman's arse rollerblading in the skintight white shorts necessarily the best way to promote the sanitary products that the average woman spends €5,400 on in her reproductive lifetime, according to Intimina.
How can we even begin to talk openly about the period poverty that reportedly affects every fourth woman when we can't even talk about tampons?
Amazing ground has been gained in recent years towards shattering menstural taboos.
In January, feminine hygiene brand Kotex became the latest to use red liquid to advertise its newest pad.
On BBC One in June, Michaela Coel's 'I May Destroy You' went one step further by depicting period sex.
While a so-called 'period emoji'' - represented by a droplet of blood - was launched by Apple last year.
Still, the whole Tampax saga makes me wonder which other irksome ads we could get banned by bellyaching about them a mere 84 times? I've got AThree's "I think the monster's back, grandad!" is on thin ice, too. Anyway, if you think the 'Tampons & Tea' ad is bad, just wait until Mooncup goes mainstream.