Holy Matri-money ‘How in the name of Dior can anyone justify splashing so much cash on one day?’
All you need is love sang the Beatles, but a billionaire dad helps. The sacred union of Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz, as blessed by Vogue drew gasps for its $4 million price tag.
Well it drew a gasp from me. Before our nuptials we had a heated debate about the price of the envelopes for the invitations.
I sense that such considerations did not trouble the young couple who later announced their new joint surname of Peltz Beckham in an Insta post, which counts as a day’s work for Brooklyn.
The 23-year-old has so far been an aspiring model, aspiring photographer and now an aspiring chef, just without any of the stress of working for minimum wage for years in a professional kitchen.
His current crop of cooking videos is made with a team of dozens of actual chefs. Nicola, a Google search revealed is an actor and billionaire heiress and while her nups may look spendy they come in at bargain basement, or starter celebrity when your in-laws are David and Victoria.
We can blame them for the trend in sleb spreads and over the top weddings which make Marie Antoinette look like Mother Teresa. But OK and Hello are so nineties and Vogue’s gushing at geyser levels will in future separate the A listers from your average Emmerdale wannabe.
The Beckham’s 1999 Irish nuptials at Luttrellstown Castle near Dublin spawned a thousand his ‘n’ hers wedding thrones, but less of the matching purple post-vows outfits because some people have taste.
That aversion to understatement has never left them and Victoria’s recent own-brand wedding outfit was a couture-level slip dress creating the effect of moonlight on the ocean at night, or silver.
I’m thinking Dunnes could do sweats of the Irish Sea reflecting the clouds on a wet Wednesday afternoon, or grey. The Beckhams spent less than a million on their big day but allowing for inflation the cost of their nups today would probably cover Brooklyn and Nicola’s catering bill, and they set the bar high.
A year later Madge was shelling out $1.5 million (the best weddings are in dollars) for her marriage to Guy Ritchie.
Pictures from the happy day reveal what a couple of decades and too many needles can do to a face. Christina Aguilera only spent $1.2 million, mostly on fake tan, while Elton John and David Furnish committed a mere $1.5 million, which is like loose change for Elton.
Paul McCartney and Heather Mills came in at $2.3 million and just a few years later she was flinging water over his divorce lawyer in court, so it was worth every penny of his money for our enjoyment of the sheer spectacle.
Kim and Kanye splashed nearly $3 million for a wall of roses, a wedding dress where lace went to die and a wrangler for his ego. The Clooneys upped the ante with a $4.6 million bill for the canapes and champers but the most eye-watering was Justin Timberlake’s big day with Jessica Biel which took up $6.5 million of their spendables, including a $100,000 dress.
There were then, and continue to be, children starving in the world. How in the name of Dior can anyone justify splashing that much cash on one day, and I don’t care how many doves were released or the number of sequins rehomed. But it doesn’t make me feel so bad now for choosing the expensive envelopes.
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