Deirdre Reynolds | 

From newly single stars to eco-friendly sweets, here’s the nice list — as well as the Xmas naughty list

SANTA’S made his list, but just before he sets off on his round-the-world trip, I’m giving him a hand to check it twice

Nice: Quality Street

Imelda May and Glenn Hansard

Salt Bae

Sunday World

SANTA’S made his list, but just before he sets off on his round-the-world trip, I’m giving him a hand to check it twice. From newly single stars to eco-friendly sweets, here’s just a snippet of the nice list — and those who can expect to be left out in the cold this Christmas.

Conor MCGREGOR: Naughty:

It’s no secret that Saint Nick is partial to a wee snifter while making his rounds worldwide on Christmas Eve — just make sure it’s not Conor McGregor’s signature pour.

The national embarrassment is firmly on the naughty list after tackling sporting legend Paul McGrath on Twitter after he dashed to the defence of comedian PJ Gallagher this week.

That’s not to mention his multiple court appearances for dangerous driving during the year.

Luckily, the Crumlin brawler isn’t relying on anyone to stuff his stocking this December 25, since he’ll just splash the cash on whatever designer tack is on his wish list anyway.

Netflix’s Harry & Meghan:Nice

Fed up with your family this festive season? Simply binge the six-part Netflix sensation to instantly feel thankful you’re not part of Britain’s most famous household.

OK, so the Duke and Duchess of Sussex may take ‘smug married’ to nauseating new heights as they use therapy speak like “our narrative” to royally chuck King Charles and heir William under the bus in the docuseries, which shattered records on the streaming service.

But even the man in the red suit can’t resist a spot of seasonal schadenfreude after retiring the reindeers for the year. Plus, anything that confirms to the world what an absolute jingle bell-end Jeremy Clarkson is deserves a spot on his nice list.

Imelda May and Glenn Hansard

ImeldaMay & Glen Hansard:Naughty

Santy feels really bad about this one, but rules are rules, and after ill-advisedly covering Fairytale of New York on The Late Late Show recently, there’s nothing in his sack for Imelda May or Glen Hansard this year.

Not alone did The Frames founder and Liberties belle throttle The Pogues’ untouchable 1988 Christmas classic, they also waded in to the annual debate over its most controversial lyric, swapping the word ‘f****t’ for the arguably no better ‘crackhead’ on the RTÉ chat show.

What will the pair attempt to recreate next? Ulysses? The Mona Lisa? Ho, ho, just no.

Salt Bae

Salt Bae: Naughty

The human salt cellar is definitely in line for a lump of coal after muscling in on Messi’s big moment earlier this month.

Better known as ‘Salt Bae’, it was bad enough that Nusret Gokce — who shot to fame on social media for his showy style of seasoning meat — somehow blagged his way on to the pitch after Argentina’s epic World Cup win against France in Qatar.

But Santa’s got major beef with the Turkish steakhouse magnate after he was snapped mauling the football icon and his coveted trophy like it was one of his overpriced gold-encrusted tomahawks.

Stick to the Saxa in 2023, love.

Nice: Quality Street

Quality Street: Nice

Never mind inflation, it’s ‘shrinkflation’ that’s being felt all over the country this December 25, specifically shrinking Strawberry Delights and Toffee Fingers.

Number crunchers revealed lately how there are approximately 20 less sweets in a box of Quality Street than there were ten years ago, while other festive favourites Roses, Cadbury’s Heroes and Celebrations are also getting smaller as the years go by.

Nonetheless, Nestle’s beloved chocolates remain on the nice list for 2022, after another new change will see non-recyclable shiny wrappers phased out for paper ones in a bid to stop Santa’s home in the North Pole from melting quite as rapidly.

Paul Mescal: Nice

Is there anything worse than being newly single during peak engagement season?

That’s why Santa has loaded something a little extra special onto the back of his sleigh for Paul Mescal his Christmas.

The Normal People sex symbol has reportedly just split from fiancée Phoebe Bridgers.

And let’s hope the 26-year-old can resist Googling her after a few mulled wines after the singer was spotted out and about with Bo Burnham in New York this week.

Not to worry, Aftersun star Paul could soon have an Oscar to snuggle up with at night, as Aftersun is tipped for Academy Awards glory alongside The Banshees of Inisherin and An Cailín Ciúin.

Free contraception:Naughty and Nice

There’s no fear of another immaculate conception this Christmas after France became the latest country to roll out free condoms.

President Emmanuel Macron confirmed ‘French letters’ will be freely available to 18 to 25-year-olds in pharmacies from January in the latest effort to stop the spread of STIs.

It comes (boom, boom) after Ireland launched a free contraception scheme for women aged 17 to 25 in September.

And, sure, as Santa himself would say: “Especially in December, gift wrap your member”.

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