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Busy Joe Donald Trump is gone but what a mess he has left behind him

Joe Biden is clearly very proud of his Irish roots, but who doesn’t have Irish roots if they look hard enough?


U.S. President Joe Biden

U.S. President Joe Biden

U.S. President Joe Biden

Joe Biden is our new best friend forever in the White House.

Unless he’s got a bag of satsumas and my Debenhams delivery, I won’t hold my breath.

He’s just got raging Covid deaths, climate change and a nuclear arms agreement with Russia to sort out and then he’ll get right on to Brexit’s invisible borders and that invitation from Michelle O’Neill to a GAA match.

He’s clearly very proud of his Irish roots, but who doesn’t have Irish roots if they look hard enough? Except Donald Trump. When he came looking for his forefathers Ireland was mysteriously closed for the day.

The 46th US President has brought an air of sanity to the world in which Trump now seems like a four-year bad dream about the bigly playground bully.

While Donald was boasting about grabbing women’s genitals Joe has warned his newly sworn in officials he’ll sack anyone on the spot who treats a colleague disrespectfully.

While Joe is presiding over a multicultural government Don had met some lovely neo-Nazis. He would have gone full KKK but the pointy hood messes up his hair.

The Oval Office now has a bust of civil rights icon Rosa Parks, while Don’s red button to summon a butler with Diet Coke and the portrait of Mickey Mouse has disappeared.

Everyone around Biden was fully masked-up. Donald caught Covid.

Even the fact that Joe’s clothes fit was worthy of comment.

Obviously it’s fabulous that polar bears won’t now be made to learn lap dancing because the icebergs have disappeared, America is back in the World Health Organisation and Donald’s hands have been removed from the nuclear button, but US politics is also destined to be a little dull.

The QAnon conspiracists who thought Trump was fighting a secret war against an underground web of Democrat paedophiles have been told by their leader to go back to their lives. What lives?

The thick as mince Trump children are to be given an unprecedented six months of Secret Service protection, thanks to dad’s final flurry of activity, and will then have to forget they once ran America.

All apart from Barron, who has mysteriously disappeared. He may have evaporated in a cloud of teenage embarrassment, and who could blame him?

The perfect ending to Donald’s presidency was provided by Melania who sneaked out the back door of the White House in a demure black suit and emerged from the plane in Florida in a £3,000 Gucci dress inspired by my grandmother’s curtains from about 1971.

While he posed for pictures, she strode past the media with a face like a smacked arse in flat ballet shoes, straight into the arms of a divorce lawyer. Now that’s an exit.

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