A concerning news report caught my attention this week warning that, by 2138, baldies could become extinct because so many are turning to hair transplants.
Picture it: a future with no Dwayne Johnsons, Jason Stathams, Stanley Tuccis or Billy Zanes.
Already, the number of follically-challenged men in the UK alone has plummeted by more than half a million in the past decade, leading eggheads of a different kind to predict they could disappear altogether in just over a century due to the rise of the cosmetic procedure.
Although with an estimated 6.4million still in the wild there, there's probably no need for fellow cranium chasers to panic just yet.
Wayne Rooney is just one of the celebrities to fess up to having a 'tress up' in recent years.
In 2011, the football manager confirmed he'd had his hairline restored at top London clinic in Harley Street after being slagged off by his Manchester United teammates for looking "like a 60-year-old".
"I was going bald at 25," he tweeted simply. "Why not."
James Nesbitt, Louis Walsh and Joe Swash are some of the others who've been open about going under the knife to get their barnet back - though dozens more appear to have been secretly at the MiracleGro.
Beating baldness, by having hair follicles transplanted from one part of the head to another, can cost up to €20,000 in Ireland, with Nesbitt (57) crediting the surgery with saving his TV career after he began losing his hair in his thirties.
Spare a thought then for 37-year-old Manchester man Dan Smith who splashed almost €9,000 on a graft, only to reveal this week how he is now regularly confused for the Tinder Swindler.
"To be fair, Simon Leviev has a very nice hairline, so I don't mind the comparisons in that respect," the sales director looked on the bright side of his newfound likeness to the Israeli love scammer, who was the subject of a Netflix documentary, while chatting to a British newspaper.
Half of the men in the world experience hair loss by the age of 50, figures show, with a quarter seeing the first signs of androgenetic alopecia - aka male pattern baldness - by their 21st birthday.
Just don't mention it in the workplace after an electrician was last month found by an English employment tribunal to have been sexually harassed when his boss called him a "bald c***".
Sure enough, you only have to look at this year's Oscars - where Will Smith gave new meaning to 'slaphead' by hit Chris Rock for making a joke about wife Jada Pinkett Smith's alopecia-induced baldness - to recognise the double standard in attitudes towards male and female hair loss in society and why many men feel compelled to do something about it.
But, tell me ladies, is there anything sexier than a man who fully embraces his baldness?
An overwhelming 87pc think not - though conceded it's as much about confidence as flashing their noggin and that a pleasantly-shaped dome à la Patrick Stewart helps.
Still, there's only one way to find out - pass the Gillette.