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My boyfriend can’t manage a second round in bedroom

Dr Angela Brokmann: Sort your sexual problems with honest and practical tips


Some men take longer than others to rev up for an encore

Some men take longer than others to rev up for an encore

Some men take longer than others to rev up for an encore

Dear Angela

My boyfriend (25) and I (26) can see each other only every second weekend, and then for only one night. When we sleep together my boyfriend is always so excited that he comes after a few minutes, long before I had a chance to have my orgasm.

He keeps caressing me with his hand when that happens, but I would prefer to have a full-blown second round of sex with him. But he's not up for that, at least not straight away.

Should my boyfriend not be able to become erect again within a couple of minutes, instead of the 10 minutes it takes him? I tried massaging his penis but right after his climax he is too sensitive to enjoy it. Is there anything else I could do to speed things up a bit?

A Some men can become erect again a minute or two after their orgasm, others need an hour or even longer - this differs from one man to the next. If your boyfriend is too sensitive to enjoy a penis massage right after his climax, try other intimate touches. The area between testicles and anus is highly sensitive and often neglected, so you could check that out. Try some dirty talking. There is a good chance that his ears won't be too sensitive to enjoy your sexy whispers.


Is my vagina too tight for sex?

Dear Angela

I (18) would like to sleep with my boyfriend (21), but my vagina is so tight that I'm afraid it's not big enough for sex. I carefully checked with a finger, and my vagina felt real tight around it.

If it can barely fit my finger, I can't see how it would fit my boyfriend's penis as it's so much bigger.

My boyfriend is sure that we will be ok - he said he didn't have any problem with his first girlfriend. Still, I'm worried that we won't be able to have full-blown sex. Or is there anything we can do to make it work?

A The vagina is tight when you are not sexually excited, but it elongates, widens and lubricates with sexual arousal. It can take 30 minutes or even more before this process is fully completed, so it's important that you take a lot of time for foreplay.

Don't rush things, take your time cuddling, kissing and touching before you move on to intercourse. To make entry easier, you can use a lubricated condom. Keep some extra lube at hand too. Lube can be water, oil or silicone-based, so just make sure you're using one suitable for you.


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Golden showers?

Q Last night I (35) had a very interesting sex chat that turned a bit weird. This guy really opened up about his favourite sex games - and his all-time favourite is golden showers. If I remember correctly, golden showers involve urine? Is that not pretty weird?

A Basically golden showers refer to sexual activities that involve urination. It's not a mainstream kink but some fetishists get a kick out of admitting their kink to others.


Can I give myself oral?

Q Is it true that some men can give themselves oral sex? My older brother claims that he knows a guy who can do it, but when I tried I couldn't manage.

A Most men have given auto fellatio - which means oral stimulation of one's own penis - a try. But only a few very lucky ones manage. If you want to keep trying, go for it. With a lot of patience and practice you'll become more flexible, and a bit more flexibility increases your chances of success.

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