Dear Maura: My daughter is lazy and uninterested in everything since Covid
“We agreed with her taking a year out before college but now I think that was a mistake”
Dear Maura: My youngest child went through fifth and sixth year during Covid-19. She sat no exams and deferred going to college last year.
We’ve all noticed that she has become lazy and uninterested in nearly everything except her friends.
She’s working, to be fair to her, and has done since she finished school. We agreed with her taking a year out before college but now I think that was a mistake. Except for her shifts in work, she has no routine. Sometimes she’s on late and she’ll sleep in instead of getting up and maybe going for a walk or tidying her room.
We’ve avoided confrontation but one of her sisters doesn’t get on with her and there have been rows, which haven’t helped. That’s my other worry. Have we left her to her own devices too much? How can we get her to be more active without rows and drama?
She’s a great young woman. She’s just not able to move on from the pared-down life we had during lockdown. How can we help her?
Answer:She is caught in a rut most of us can relate to. Now she needs help. Yes to her getting out for a walk but you should go with her — lead by example.
I get the impression she has been quite isolated. While she’s enjoyed that, she now needs support as she re-engages in life. Talk to her. Pick your moments when she is off guard so she doesn’t feel she’s getting a lecture. Try to chat about how she’s feeling generally.
Help her to introduce new activities — go out as a family for pizza or to the cinema. Get her involved, so she can feel comfortable opening up.
Sometimes you have to meet a situation head-on to resolve it. Avoiding talking to her is not the solution. The opposite is.
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