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Relationship SOS Dear Maura: I'm not attracted to my boyfriend anymore, should we break up?

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Picture posed by models

Picture posed by models

Picture posed by models

Maura O’Neill has been responding to a wide range of problems and issues for the past 20 years as Agony Aunt with the Sunday World. With a Higher Diploma in Education and counselling qualification she also draws on her own life experience in responding to readers’ letters.

Dear Maura,

A group of us all hang out together and we're really close. There's one lad I've started seeing. He's lovely and gets on with everyone in a quiet way. He's shy and I'm the loud one in the gang.

My parents let us hang out in the house sometimes and they really get on with him. All is going great, except I'm not that attracted to him physically or sexually. It's got nothing to do with how he looks or his body. I don't know what it is, only that the feelings aren't there. The problem is, everyone really likes him. I can't keep pretending that I'm into him when I'm not. It's got to the point where sometimes the situation is awkward, but I've no reason to break up with him.

Maura says: Read over your letter and you'll see one big, glaring reason for ending this relationship: you are not attracted to him; there is no chemistry there. This is the neon light of reasons for breaking up. I appreciate that you are thinking of what everyone else will say, especially as you're in such a close-knit social circle, but you've got to bite the bullet.

Do the right thing for him and you. Yes, it could be awkward for a while, but it's the best decision in the long run. Have the chat and move on.

  • Want to get in touch? E-mail maura.oneill@sundayworld.com.

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