Dear Maura: I fear anxiety without my dad

Dear Maura: My mam is hopeless with me when I feel anxious. I’m 18 and have had anxiety since I was 15. My dad is so patient. Mam just thinks that I can shake off my worries if I do something to distract me. I got through my Leaving Cert with Covid and took this year out before going to college. I got a part-time job in a local nursing home and I like being with older people. I don’t feel under pressure with them. My dad has to go away with work and I’m really worried about that. I’ve asked if I could go with him and he thinks it’s a great idea but mam isn’t keen. She’s worried I’ll be on my own when he’s at work. I’ve looked up nursing homes near his office and I’ve applied for jobs. I won’t say anything until I hear something back. I’m determined to do this because the thought of dad being at the other end of the country is just too much. I’m sure I’ll be fine and I’ve felt good the past while but if he’s not here, it makes me feel insecure in case I get bad anxiety. He’ll be gone for three months. Answer: I think it’s wonderful you are making plans and thinking ahead. This shows how determined you are to find practical ways to deal with your anxiety. If your dad is in agreement, make sure to spend time together and keep an eye on your working hours. Your mam is hesitant because she realises you are leaving as you lack confidence in her support. Talk everything through. Both you and your dad should visit the nursing home where you’re planning to work and talk to the staff so he can get a feel for the place. You can always revise these plans. See how you feel from now until your dad is due to leave. You may feel strong enough to stay home after all.