Dear Maura: He loves soccer more than me

Solve your life dilemmas with expert advice from Maura O’Neill
Football fanaticism is no fun for partners

Football fanaticism is no fun for partners

Dear Maura: MY boyfriend loves his favourite soccer team, Liverpool, more than me. It’s all he ever talks about. If a player gets injured or they lose — not that often I know — then it takes ages for him to get over this. He doesn’t want to go out or anything. My mam thinks it’s great that a man has a hobby and I’ll be glad to get rid of him for a weekend if I marry him. I don’t look at marriage like that. We have been together for a year and haven’t done much. If this did develop into something, then I would want more. I’m 27 and he’s 26. I read a lot, love art and would really like to go to the theatre more often. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about this, and as a joke he said he’d go to a musical if it was about Liverpool. Sorry? Is he capable of a relationship? The thing is, I can be a bit serious — my friends tell me this all the time. So I’m hanging in here because I think he could be good for me. I’m an only child and a bit sheltered. Still, he’s so different. What do you think? Answer: Have you gone to a Liverpool match yet? I hope you have in order to give yourself an idea of what your boyfriend is passionate about. I think ultimately you must really feel that this is for you. I sense that you are critical of yourself and look at this boyfriend as a way of opening up experiences for you. Maybe this is a situation that you don’t rationalise too much, that you just go with and enjoy. Certainly, you need to have an input on how you socialise but try not to control too much. Take this relationship to a point where you feel you have developed in a way you didn’t think you ever could. Then you decide to get off or keep going with this guy.

Her expensive taste is bleeding me dry

Dear Maura: I’m struggling with money because my girlfriend has expensive tastes. I don’t want her to think that I can’t give her what she wants but at the same time it’s starting to be an issue for me. I’ve dug into my savings a bit and it’s bothering me.

She loves posh hotels and restaurants. She offers to go halves sometimes but not in a way that she means it. I love being with her, she’s beautiful and always looks great. But I’m under pressure to keep her happy in a way she totally expects without thinking of any consequences. I don’t know how to approach a conversation about this subject, but I will have to say something and then what if she walks? We’re both 30.

Answer: Here’s what you do, the next time she suggests splitting the restaurant bill agree, straight away! If she pulls a face, then you’ll have to ask yourself what exactly this relationship is all about. And more importantly do you want to be with a person like this?

Essentially, as I see it, this is all about her. Ask yourself what do you want? If it’s all about spending money instead of spending time together then maybe this woman is too superficial for you.

Email your problems to Dr Angela Brokmann Maura O’Neill All pictures are posed by models

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