Dear Denise: Sex with my husband is so dull – should I ditch him for group sex?

Our sex life is so dull that I could give you a play-by-play on when and how it will happen each time.

I feel completely suffocated by the lack of spontaneity. He hasn’t given me a blanket ‘no’, but every time I bring up the conversation he switches the subject.

I’m half thinking of going it alone.

Answer:You’re clearly frustrated and looking for some adventure and va-va-voom in the bedroom — and there is nothing wrong with that. But try not to jump between the sheets just yet. This could be time for a little self-reflection: ask yourself, why are these feelings coming up for you now?

Do you feel as if time is slipping by and you need to experience more or are you resentful that your husband hasn’t made moves to spice up your sex life?

If your husband is strictly a one-partner-at-a-time kind of man, then there’s nothing you can do to change his mind, and frankly, it’s a huge red flag if you try to coerce him into something he is not comfortable with.

Group sex, threesomes and swinging can sound very glamorous but that’s not always the case, and it’s a huge step to take in any relationship.

Have you told your husband how bored you are? Be sensitive and start there. He may have spicy alternatives.

I feel so unattractive

Query: I (25) HAVE recently put on a lot of weight and can’t stand the idea of my boyfriend touching me or seeing me naked. It’s really getting me down. Answer:You are so much more than your jean size or what you weigh. Every body goes through times of flux so firstly, be kind to yourself. Your boyfriend loves you and wants to be intimate. The only person who is scrutinising your body is you.

Should I fess up?

Query:I (23) have started to sell pictures of my feet online, but I haven’t told my boyfriend. I’m making decent money, so I don’t see the harm. Should I come clean?

Answer:We don’t have to tell our partners everything but it should be worth mentioning that some men may be getting off to pictures of your feet. Trust is huge when it comes to relationships, and while you’re entitled to do what you want when it comes to you and your feet, truth is key.

Email your problems to Maura O’Neill maura.oneill@sundayworld.com Denise Smith denise.smith@sundayworld.com All pictures are posed by models