Dear Angela: I’m bored in bed, is it OK to stimulate myself during sex?

Dear Angela,

I (37) never have an orgasm when I sleep with my husband. He either doesn't know or doesn't care. He even has the nerve to ask whether it was good for me when we're finished.

I always give him quick answers like "Sure" because when I'm honest and say "No", we only end up having unpleasant discussions. Then I have to assure him that "No, I've not gone off him". And "No, I'm not sleeping with somebody else".

My husband only wants me to stroke his ego, and that's the last thing I want to do when I'm lying beside him, frustrated and unsatisfied.

I'd love to just touch myself during intercourse, but the one time I did it my husband said that I don't have to do that, and that it's his job.

To be fair, he tried to touch me but he got it all wrong. I'd like to try again, but without having to explain myself.

Answer: Go for it. If your husband asks what's wrong, say that you'd just like to try something new.

Your husband might find your initiative a bit irritating at first, but once he sees how much you enjoy it he'll be happy to let you work away.

But you should also tell or show him how HE can stimulate you properly.