Dear Angela: Can makeup sex really fix our relationship problems?
Sort your sexual problems with honest and practical tips from
Dr Angela Brokmann
Dear Angela: My boyfriend (35) and I (28) are going through a rough patch in our relationship. We’re arguing and fighting a lot and there are bad vibes between us all the time. Most of our arguments happen at night-time and then my boyfriend usually ends up sleeping in our guest room. The next morning he sneaks back into our bed to wake me up with cuddles and kisses and then he makes love to me. These early morning sessions are the best sex ever but once it’s over I’d still like to talk about our problems. But every time I bring it up my boyfriend says I have to stop being so negative, and that there’s no need to talk when we made up already. The makeup sex might get us back on track, but the peace only lasts a few days and then we’re back fighting. Answer: Sex can help to smooth things over after an argument, and it is true that makeup sex can be extremely intense and passionate. It helps you to reconnect with your partner, but it doesn’t solve your problems. To sort out all the hiccups in your relationship you need to communicate. If your boyfriend is not in the mood to talk right after sex, wait a day or two before you have
What if my performance is limp?
Dear Angela: My first ever sex experience was a complete disaster. I (20) was out drinking with friends when I met a lovely girl. I’d never seen her before, but she was all over me in no time. I didn’t want to take things further, but when she dragged me out of the pub and into the back seat of her car I couldn’t resist.
I tried to sleep with her, but I couldn’t get an erection. She helped me, and after a lot of fumbling we got our bits together, but I lost my erection before we could finish. It was so embarrassing.
Now I have a girlfriend and I’d like to sleep with her. But I’m still not sure what went wrong with my first time, and I’m afraid that I might fail again. Do you think the drink was to blame?
Answer: Too much alcohol can indeed cause erection difficulties, but it’s very likely that your inexperience and nervousness were at least partly to blame as well. You weren’t even prepared to have sex that night, and that certainly didn’t help either.
With your girlfriend, things will be completely different. Just wait with sex until you feel completely comfortable and relaxed with each other. Talk about it beforehand, and sort out contraception. Then all you have to do is relax and enjoy.
I can’t stop sweating
Query: I (37) HAVE an embarrassing problem: when I’m nervous I sweat profusely, especially in my genital area. It’s ruining my love life. I tried an antiperspirant but it gave me a rash. What can I do?
Answer: Wear cotton underwear and avoid tight clothing. Try non-perfumed antiperspirant, made for the genital area. If it doesn’t help, consult your GP. Excess sweating can be caused by anxiety, or a medical condition.
Query: I (55) FOUND a stack of small ‘Tenga Eggs’ boxes inside my lover’s wardrobe. He caught me before I could open any, and when I asked what was inside he said it’s something he’s collecting. What are Tenga Eggs? Are they sex toys?
Answer: Tenga Eggs are stretchable sleeve masturbators in egg form. They come with a wide range of different inner works and structures. Some are disposable while others can be reused if cleaned properly.
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