Ask Dr Angela: The married man I am having an affair with is sleeping around

"I am a happily married woman, and I am having an affair with a married man"

Do I have a right to expect faithfulness?

Dr Angela Brokmann

Sort your sexual problems with honest and practical tips from Dr Angela Brokmann

Dear Angela, I (40) am a happily married woman, and I am having an affair with a married man (46).

My husband knows about it, and he is OK with it. I love my husband and I would never leave him and he knows that. I just need some sex and attention on the side, just for fun.

My lover and I have been together for three months, and just now I found out that he is having another affair as well, with a younger woman.

He also still sleeps with his first wife although they've been divorced for almost 10 years.

This man is unbelievable. I'm so disappointed in him, I thought he really liked me, but who knows how many other people he's sleeping with?

I want him for myself, but he says I have no right to expect him to be faithful to me.

Answer: Your lover has a point there; you can not expect him to be faithful, unless it's something you've discussed and agreed on.

If you want your affair to be exclusive, as far as that's even possible between two people who are both married to others, you need to have a serious chat to work out some rules between you.

Talk about your ideas and expectations, your marriages and your affair to clarify where you are with each other.

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