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Ask Dr Angela: Should I bed my ex’s friend as revenge for cheating?

Sort your sexual problems with honest and practical tips from Dr Angela Brokmann


Sleeping with someone just to spite an ex isn’t a good move

Sleeping with someone just to spite an ex isn’t a good move

Sleeping with someone just to spite an ex isn’t a good move

Dear Angela: My boyfriend (30) cheated on me with a girl I (26) have known since primary school. At first I thought it’s just a fling, but my boyfriend said he really likes the girl, and then he broke up with me. This was two weeks ago, and at this stage I’m not even sure anymore whether I still love my ex. But I want revenge. I want my ex to hurt as much as I did, and I want him to beg for me to get back with him.

One of his mates has a huge crush on me, and I thought I could maybe sleep with the guy. That would surely make my ex mad jealous. The only problem is that I don’t fancy the guy, but that’s a small price to pay for my revenge. Should I go for it, what do you think?

Answer: No, revenge sex is a bad idea. Your ex would surely be annoyed if you slept with his mate, but the only person who’d get really hurt is the guy you intend to sleep with. It’s not fair to play with his feelings, especially if he has a crush on you. So forget about your little plot, it wouldn’t work anyway.

Try to get over the break-up and move on, it’s your best option.

Does eye contact make it sexier?

Dear Angela: MY boyfriend (33) and I (27) have only been together for two months but we’re incredibly close and madly in love. We spend all our free time together and I stay over at my boyfriend’s place most nights.
We have lots of sex and I don’t think there’s any position we haven’t tried. I have an orgasm every time we sleep together, and the last few nights we even managed to climax together.
There is one little thing, though, that doesn’t work. My boyfriend wants to look into my eyes when we climax — he said it would make our orgasms even more intense. I tried, but I can’t do that. I’m not shy, but every time I get close to my orgasm my eyes close automatically.
Would our orgasms really be more intense if we looked into each other’s eyes? Should I try harder to make it work?
Answer:  It’s true that most couples feel even closer to each other when they look into each other’s eyes while they climax, but this doesn’t work for everybody.
Some people feel more comfortable, happy and secure with their eyes closed, and that’s perfectly fine as well.
If you’re really not shy make an effort to keep your eyes open the next time around — it’s the only way to find out whether it works for you.

Best first time option?

Query: My shy and sexually inexperienced girlfriend (20) is ready to sleep with me. I (26) want to make her feel good, but I don’t know anything about her preferences and kinks. Should I just go for a few fancy positions and hope she’ll like it?
Answer: If you want to take care of her, choose vanilla sex for your first time, with you on top. Don’t go for fancy sex moves — make love. It’s the best way to show you care.

Belly button tease?

Query: Can women tease guys with their clitoris? My husband claims that some women can make love to their partner by sticking their clitoris into the guy’s belly button. I’d love to do that, but I don’t think my clitoris is big enough.
Answer: Clitorises differ in size, and they swell and get bigger with sexual arousal. But you don’t even need a huge clitoris to play the belly button game — an average sized one will do. Give it a try.

Email your problems to
Dr Angela Brokmann dr.angela@sundayworld.com
Maura O’Neill maura.oneill@sundayworld.com
All pictures are posed by models

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