sex talk Ask Dr Angela: Should I ask for a paternity test?
"I'd just like to know whether I'm the dad."
Open-minded and practical, Dr Angela Brokmann has answered the nation's sex problems for 18 years. Here, she answers your dilemmas.
Six months ago my girlfriend (36) left me for another man. A couple of weeks ago she said she still loves me and wants us to get back together. When I (40) asked why she changed her mind, she said that she's seven months pregnant with my child and that she wants the baby to have a real family. I had no idea that she's pregnant. But I still love her and I'd love to be with her and the baby. I'd just like to know whether I'm the dad. Is it ok if I insist on a paternity test?
Angela says: If there is any reasonable doubt then it's perfectly ok. Assure her that the outcome of the test won't change anything between you, but that you need to know whether the baby is yours or not. You have a right to know and she should accept this.
My husband (45) said his first girlfriend used to hum when she gave him oral sex. He says this created vibes that aroused him. I (38) tried it, but I find it impossible to keep a straight face. Is there something similar I could try?
Angela says: You could use a small vibrator for assistance. Hold it against your cheek when having oral sex, or use it to tease the base of his penis.
Her ex-boyfriend likes to watch us have sex
I (34) am going out with a lovely girl (33) who's sharing a house with her ex-boyfriend. When I first met the guy it was a bit awkward, I felt like an intruder, sitting in his kitchen and drinking his whiskey. But he made me feel welcome and he's never shown any sign of jealousy.
A couple of weeks ago the ex was out for the night but he came home much earlier than expected, to find us having sex on the couch. He said something like, "Oh hi, great stuff, do you mind if I watch?" Then he sat down in an armchair and looked over at us with a big grin on his face.
My girlfriend said: "Don't mind him, he loves to watch but he won't try to join in or anything." So we carried on. And now the ex wants to watch all the time. The other night he even came into our bedroom. I didn't mind him watching the first time - it was a bit of an adventure. But I don't want to turn that into a habit. How can I put a stop to this?
It's perfectly ok that you don't want an audience when you make love. Have a good chat about this with your girlfriend's ex.
Explain that you didn't mind him watching when he walked in on you that one time, but that as a general rule you want your privacy.
To make sure that he can't show up uninvited, lock the bedroom door. If you live on your own, you and your girlfriend could also spend more time at your place.
- Get in touch! Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
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