three's a crowd | 

Ask Dr Angela: My husband doesn’t want to give foursome partner up

"They wanted to keep swapping with us, but it’s not the same anymore"

Swapping partners has its risks if everyone isn’t on the same page.

Dr Angela Brokmann

Sort your sexual problems with honest and practical tips from Dr Angela Brokmann

Dear Angela: My husband (51) and I (47) have been friends with a lovely, happily married couple from our neighbourhood for more than 10 years.

We used to meet for dinner, we went on holidays and long weekends together — and we swapped partners regularly. We were so comfortable with each other that sometimes all four of us shared a bed for the night.

All that fell apart when our friends announced they had split up. They wanted to keep swapping with us, but it’s not the same anymore. We tried a couple of times, but I felt uncomfortable, knowing they’re basically both single now.

My husband wants us to keep swapping, though. He doesn’t want to give the other woman up and that makes me jealous. Am I overreacting?

Answer: No, it’s perfectly fine that you feel jealous. Sure, you’ve been sleeping with your friends for years, but they were happily married to each other and therefore less of a threat to your own marriage than they are now as single people.

There is a higher risk that your friends become emotionally involved with you and your husband, and that would certainly put a serious strain on your marriage, especially if one or both of you return these feelings.

If you’d like to keep swapping, it’s best if you look for another couple as bed mates.

Email your problems to: Dr Angela Brokmann All pictures are posed by models

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