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sex talk Ask Dr Angela: My girlfriend found my sex mags and now we're not speaking

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Open-minded and practical, Dr Angela Brokmann has answered the nation's sex problems for 18 years. Here, she answers you dilemmas.

Dear Angela,

My girlfriend (36) and I (42) have only been together for a couple of months, but we've already had our first big fight.

She was staying over for the night, and while I was in the shower she went through my bedside locker. And in the bottom drawer she found a small stack of sex mags. She went ballistic. She screamed at me, she said she feels offended and insisted that I have to throw the mags out. And when I refused to do that she got up and left.

A couple of days later she rang to ask whether I got rid of the sex mags. I told her that I had no intention of throwing them out, and she went off on another rant. I hung up on her, and I haven't spoken to her since. I don't want to lose my girlfriend over this, but I can't have her boss me around like that either.

I mean, I'm a grown man and I need a bit of freedom and space. Should I just give in? What do you think?

Angela says: No, if you give in now you'd send the wrong signal, and you'd most likely regret it later on. It's important to allow each other a bit of private space, and it's best to clarify that early on.

If you want to keep and read sex mags that's perfectly ok. Talk to your girlfriend; explain the magazines are harmless, and you intend to keep them. Store them in a safe place.

Dear Angela,

My boyfriend (22) and I (24) decided to have our first real sex soon. We've touched each other up many times but I'm afraid to go all the way because my boyfriend's penis is real big. It's almost 7 ½ inches when erect, I know because I measured it the other night.

My ex boyfriend was much smaller and we never had a problem in bed, but I'm afraid that my new boyfriend's penis won't fit due to its size.

Answer: At 7½ inches your boyfriend's penis is well above average, but when you become sexually aroused your vagina should expand sufficiently to fit it comfortably.

To make sure there won't be any hiccups, take a lot of time for foreplay and only proceed to intercourse when you feel ready for it. And keep lube at hand, just in case.

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