Sex Talk Ask Dr Angela: 'My 18-year-old toy boy is choosing family holiday over me'
I (32) invited my 18-year-old toy boy to a week's holiday in Mykonos, but he doesn't want to go because his parents have planned a family holiday for the same week. They're going to their holiday home in Donegal, and I don't understand how he can prefer that over a week in Greece. Anyway, I told him I could come along, but he doesn't want me to meet his family yet - and that's ridiculous. We've been seeing each other for half a year now and it's time we show some commitment and meet each other's family and friends.
He insists that we should keep our relationship secret. I'm thinking I could maybe rent a cottage in Donegal for the week; I know where my boyfriend will stay, and I could go and surprise him. Then, he'd have to introduce me to his family, whether he likes it or not. Would that work?
Angela says: No. Your toy boy is not ready to introduce you to his family, and you should accept that. Don't forget that he's only a teenager and obviously not prepared for the kind of commitment you're looking for.
Don't put him under pressure; don't be pushy. Let him enjoy his family holiday, and if you'd like to talk about commitment and your future together, have a good chat with him when he gets back.
After nine years of marriage, I (37) finally told my husband (44) that I can't climax when we sleep together. I asked him to caress my clitoris, and he's trying really hard, but while it feels good for a few minutes, I still can't climax. My husband can't find the right touch, even though I explained what he should do for me. All he needs to do is caress my clitoris with circling movements around the tip, but he never gets it right. I don't want to give up yet. How can I teach my husband the right technique?
Angela says: If your words alone didn't make your husband understand what you need, show him the right touch. For starters, practice out of bed. Let your husband try with his fingertip on one of yours. When he's mastered the technique, let him try in bed. Put your own hand over his to guide him. Use a sex lube, as it will make your clitoris more sensitive and your husband's touch will feel smoother. If this fails to work, get a finger sleeve sex toy with a vibrating tip. These are tiny, but work wonders. They will fit snugly over your husband's finger, and he only has to place them on the right spot to make them work their magic.
I (58) am sleeping with one of my colleagues. I guess we're what you'd call friends with benefits. Whenever we feel like it, we sleep together just for the fun, with no strings attached. When I told my sister, she said I shouldn't sleep with this guy without condoms, because he has a bit of a reputation. I don't care. I'm seven years into menopause and can't get pregnant anymore.
Angela says: You might not get pregnant anymore, but you can still catch an STI (sexually transmitted infection), so use condoms to protect yourself - especially if your friend sleeps with other people, as that increases your risk of catching something nasty. Take your sister's advice and get condoms.
I (20) am in a happy relationship with a girl I met at school three years ago. We have a great sex life, but a while ago, I realised that I'm interested in men as well. I have no idea where this came from all of a sudden. I just realised that men can turn me on sexually too. I love my girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure now that I'm bisexual.
I'm afraid that maybe I might need sex with men to be happy and that wouldn't be fair on my girlfriend. Should I split up with her?
Angela says: No. If you're bisexual that doesn't mean you need sex with both guys and girls to be happy; it only means that you can feel sexually attracted to people of both genders.
There is no need to split up with your girlfriend; stay together as long as you are happy, but talk to your girlfriend. It's better if she knows that you're bisexual, and talking about it will also help you to sort out your feelings.
My new partner (46) mentioned the other night that he is circumcised. I (52) know it has something to do with his penis, but I'm not really sure what it means. Does his penis look weird?
Angela says: Circumcision means the removal of the foreskin. Your lover's penis will look different from an uncircumcised one, but it won't look weird - many women actually find a circumcised penis more attractive. Lacking the foreskin, it will also feel a bit different when you touch him, but it won't cause any problems.
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