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sex talk Ask Dr Angela: Her ex-boyfriend likes to watch us have sex

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Open-minded and practical, Dr Angela Brokmann has answered the nation's sex problems for 18 years. Here, she answers your dilemmas.

Dear Angela,

I (34) am going out with a lovely girl (33) who's sharing a house with her ex-boyfriend. When I first met the guy it was a bit awkward, I felt like an intruder, sitting in his kitchen and drinking his whiskey. But he made me feel welcome and he's never shown any sign of jealousy.

A couple of weeks ago the ex was out for the night but he came home much earlier than expected, to find us having sex on the couch. He said something like, "Oh hi, great stuff, do you mind if I watch?" Then he sat down in an armchair and looked over at us with a big grin on his face.

My girlfriend said: "Don't mind him, he loves to watch but he won't try to join in or anything." So we carried on. And now the ex wants to watch all the time. The other night he even came into our bedroom. I didn't mind him watching the first time - it was a bit of an adventure. But I don't want to turn that into a habit. How can I put a stop to this?

Angela says:

It's perfectly ok that you don't want an audience when you make love. Have a good chat about this with your girlfriend's ex.

Explain that you didn't mind him watching when he walked in on you that one time, but that as a general rule you want your privacy.

To make sure that he can't show up uninvited, lock the bedroom door. If you live on your own, you and your girlfriend could also spend more time at your place.

  • Get in touch! Email dr.angela@sundayworld.com.

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