A look back at wild and heartfelt sex advice letters to Dr Angela 21 years ago

Friends and family of the Germanborn author, who made Ireland her adopted home, were left heartbroken when she died in her sleep on October 13 this year, and her sudden departure was felt by her colleagues and the readers.

One reader wrote: “I’m really sorry to hear of the death of your work colleague who wrote some of the problem pages, the sexual advice was excellent with regards to what young people in particular go through.

“I genuinely think you’d be surprised at the amount of younger people that still get sexual information from ‘problem pages’ in different newspapers.

It comes across as more informative when it’s in black and white on a newspaper than on social media, which is a minefield of misinformation at the moment. Myself (male) and my work colleague (female) thoroughly enjoyed reading them and working them out them from both a male and female angle.”

We took a look back at some of the letters you sent into Angela, in her first year here 21 years ago, and while they might be a little more innocent, things haven’t changed all that much.

Angela’s stellar advice was based on having fun between the sheets and safe sex.

Letters to our much missed sex columnist Doctor Angela Brokmann from 21 years ago show we haven’t changed much.

• GIRLS ALLOWED IN FANTASY

Dear Angela,

I (19) NEVER had a girlfriend, but I’m thinking about girls all the time. For the last few months I’ve had a fantasy that involves two girls at the same time.

The girls are kissing, and they are touching each other while I am watching. Then they make love, although this part is a bit fuzzy as I’m not sure how girls have sex with each other. Anyway, in the end I sleep with both of them. I don’t understand what’s got into me.

I mean, I don’t even have one girlfriend, and I’m fantasising about being with two girls at the same time. Is that OK, or do you think something’s wrong with me?

ANGELA SAYS:

Don’t worry, your erotic fantasy about watching two girls making love and then joining in is perfectly normal, regardless of whether you have a girlfriend or not.

It’s actually one of the most common male fantasies among guys of all ages. One of the main attractions of this fantasy is the mystery surrounding love between girls, and the desire to find out what it’s all about.​

• CARAVAN OF LOVE

Dear Angela,

MY BOYFRIEND and I spent the Easter weekend out in Laytown. We shared a caravan with a married couple in their thirties. On Easter Sunday we had a quiet night in with a takeaway and a few cans. We played cards for a while, and then our friends brought out an erotic board game.

At first it was just funny, but after a while we all got into the mood. One moment we were flirting and messing, and next of all we were all having mad sex together. This wasn’t planned and none of us were using protection.

I know our friends have done some partner swapping and stuff like that before, so I suppose it’s possible that they have STIs. Should I be worried? They looked OK, does that mean they should be healthy? Or is it possible that we caught something off them?

ANGELA SAYS:

If your friends are into swapping, and have unprotected sex with others, they are definitely at an increased risk of catching STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections). If your friends have any STIs, it’s possible that you caught something. That your friends looked OK doesn’t mean much. People can have STIs without showing any symptoms; they can even be infected without being aware of it. To be on the safe side, go for a check up.

• HE GOT THE GIGGLES

Dear Angela,

Last weekend, I (33) had a one-night stand with a gorgeous bloke who spoiled me rotten: he gave me the best sex of my life. I wanted to spoil him as well, so I gave him oral sex. It went OK for a few minutes, but he didn’t seem to get into it, so I tried the humming trick. I made this deep humming noise in the back of my throat — I used to do that for my ex and it always turned him on. Well, it didn’t work with my one-night stand. The guy just started to laugh and that spoilt the whole night. He apologised for laughing; he said he just couldn’t help it because the noise I made was so funny. It was supposed to be sexy and it always worked before. Where did I go wrong?

ANGELA SAYS:

You didn’t go wrong. The humming trick, where you create stimulating vibrations inside your mouth and throat, can be extremely sexy. But, in fairness, it does sound funny, especially if you take your guy by surprise. So don’t overreact. Your partner laughed not to make fun of you, but because he simply couldn’t help it. It’s perfectly fine to laugh during sex next time, just play along.

• SHOULD I WATCH HER AS WELL?

Dear Angela,

My new girlfriend (45) loves to watch herself when she has sex. When we sleep together, it’s always in front of a huge mirror. She even looks in the mirror when she has her orgasm and uses sex toys in front of the mirror as well. I don’t know what to do, so I just turn around and pretend that I don’t see her. I’d rather stay and watch, but I don’t want to intrude on her privacy like that.

ANGELA SAYS:

Don’t worry, your girlfriend is not discreet about her sex toy games and there is a good chance that she’d love you to catch her. Next time you see her playing, don’t be shy. Stay and watch, or join in.