'reach out' | 

Abuse survivor Shaneda Daly tells victims ‘you are not alone this Christmas’

‘Finding yourself in the environment where the abuse took place at Christmas and having to spend the day with your abuser is utterly horrific’

Shaneda Daly

Patrick O'ConnellSunday World

VICTIMS OF abuse who have not yet spoken out, and who may be forced this year to be in the company of their abusers at Christmas, should know they are not alone, abuse survivor Shaneda Daly has said.

Shaneda, who endured horrific abuse each Christmas’ at the hands of her pervert former prison officer father Harry Daly has urged victims in this situation to contact the support group ‘Survivors Side by Side’ for help and advice.

“We try to get this message out every Christmas to people who find themselves in this situation,” Shaneda said.

“Come to our page on Facebook.

“You can post your message to us anonymously and someone will get back to you.

“Finding yourself in a situation where you are effectively pushed back into the environment where the abuse took place and having to spend the day with your abuser is utterly horrific..

“But if this is happening to someone who is reading this, I would just say to them they are not alone.

“It is never too late to get help and advice and that is why I set up the ‘Survivors Side by Side’ support group on Facebook.

“People can contact us anonymously just to get advice or support … there is no onus on them to report an abuser if they don’t want to.

“The main message they should take from this is: You are not alone … never be afraid to reach out.”

Shaneda has previously spoken of her own horrific experiences at the hands of Harry Daly.

“My own memories of Christmas are still disturbing,” she said.

“My father would wake me on Christmas morning by putting his hands under my blankets to molest me.

“Later that day he would rape me. I have loads of memories of playing with different toys I had received while my father would have sex with me or molested me. I would just block him out.

“When I was 17, I told my mother about the abuse.

“My father left for a year and came back, according to my mother, a cured and changed man.

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“I used to have to sit at the Christmas table remembering what he done to me while the rest of my family enjoyed their meal and gifts.

“When I was 26 he sexually assaulted me again.

“My mother chose to stay with him, and I was excluded from the family.

“It destroyed me that he got to be with the family, and I was the outcast. It broke my heart not to be with my sisters.

“It hurt to see my friends with their families at Christmas while my own family was so messed up.

“This is just my story, there are so many more abuse victims out there that will, this Christmas, have to sit across from their abuser because someone is telling them to be quiet or labelling them a liar.

“The saddest part this year is that, while most people are celebrating, some innocent children will be going through this hell.

“Their Christmas memory will be of being molested or raped by someone they trusted and loved; more children will have another part of them die.

“Through being an abuse survivor, I have met hundreds of other wonderful, strong men and women who were once victims.

“We all want to say no child should have to suffer and no one who knows has the right to silence them.”

Shaneda’s abuser Harry Daly was sentenced to 15 years on multiples counts of child rape in 2011.

Her mother Rose has continued to stand by her husband despite the fact Harry admitted he subjected their daughter to a terrifying 12-year campaign of rape.

Details of the campaign of sexual violence visited by the now 67-year-old on Shaneda stunned the nation and his prison officer colleagues during his 2011 trial.

In total he admitted guilt to 227 charges, 103 of indecent assault and 24 of sexual assault.

The rest of the charges consisted of charges of different forms of rape, including oral rape.

He was released from prison in November of 2018.

Anyone looking for support or advice can contact the support group ‘Survivors Side by Side’ on the group’s Facebook page- which now has almost 2,000 members.

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