Nor could The Wolf of Wall Street Leonardo DiCaprio or any of the other Oscar nominated folk, but I do have a list of who was smooching who… do you want to know where they were at? Right, hold on to your knitted hats, this is what Tinseltown was up to while you were busy hoovering.
So Bill Clinton was rubbing shoulders with Alicia Keys, Selena Gomez and Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Thursday night – put your dirty mind to bed, I simply said rubbing shoulders! He was also hanging out with Martin Scorsese among others at the Unite4Humanity party at The Sony Lot, while I was hanging out with Conan O’Brien at The Oscar Wilde party in Santa Monica.
Because I was slightly out of the 90210 district I also missed, TRAGICALLY, the delicious Mr Jared Leto on Thursday, as he was busy hanging out with Olivia Wilde, Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron and Vanessa Hudgens at the Sunset Tower Hotel.
After his recent omission that he was in a relationship of the heart with Elizabeth Taylor for the two years before her death, it was no surprise that Colin Farrell made it to the Benefit for Elizabeth Taylor Aids Foundation at the Los Angeles Center of Photography.
On Friday, Helen Mirren sipped Perrier-Jouet Champagne with Judi Dench, Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock at the 7th Annual Women in Film Pre-Oscar Cocktail Party at the Fig & Olive.
Also on Friday night the brat pack hit The Great British Film Reception at The British Residence of the Consul General where guests included director Steve McQueen, Steve Coogan, Christian Bale and Chiwetel Ejiofor.
Robert Redford, along with Matthew McConaughey and Cate Blanchett, partied under a tent, on the beach at Santa Monica to celebrate the Film Independent Spirit Awards.
According to my sources, yesterday was an unofficial day of rest for all the Oscar attendees in preparation for tonight’s big event.
So, after a crazy week of Oscar partying, tonight’s 86th Academy Awards will see the great and the very talented sashay down the famous red carpet, but of course not all of Hollywood’s famous stars will be there… nor will I sadly.
But that doesn’t mean the uninvited folk won’t party. Prince, Halle Berry and Pierce Brosnan are expected at the 15th Annual Children Uniting Nations Gala at The Beverly Hills Estate tonight.
Elton John and his partner David Furnish will also host their own bash while raising funds for his AIDS charity. Many A-Listers are expected, along with a host of musicians and supermodels. Adopted Irish son Ed Sheeran is expected to perform at the bash.
At The Beverly Hills Hotel where I’m staying, the 24th Annual Night of 100 Stars Oscar Viewing Gala is expected to play host to the crying Richard Dreyfuss (apologies, I’m teasing), Chevy Chase and Laura Dern. And, who knows, maybe me too?
Charlize Theron and director James Cameron are hosting a bash out at The Vineyard for the Fame & Philanthropy Gala to raise funds for Theron’s Africa Outreach Project… Who knows, her gorgeous boyfriend Sean Penn may also be there?
Meanwhile, Sean’s ex and the most material of all gals, Madonna, will host her own party sponsored by Gucci, so all her bessie mates will leave with some branded swag – nice.
But the biggest and most glamorous of all the events is without doubt Vanity Fair’s Oscar Party, which usually sees a host of the winners from the night before lose their shoes, mobiles, statues, dignity and possibly marbles!
If you stay up and watch the awards tonight, know that somewhere out in the madness. I’m getting my crazy on to try bring you some extra inside scandal, gossip and of course a few cocktails for myself... hopefully at Vanity Fair.