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Nicole Richie: I won't apologise for my past

ShowbizBy Sunday World
Nicole Richie: I won't apologise for my past

Nicole Richie won't "apologise" for her past.

The 35-year-old television personality admits she has made some "bad decisions in the past" but says she feels more settled than ever.

She said: "I could fall into the role-playing that some people seem to want and say, 'Yes! I am so sorry. I was bad. I am good now! I promise.' But I don't believe in that story of redemption, a good-prevailing-over-evil story. It's one I'm just not in. I am not going to apologise for being me so you can get your triumphant ending. I don't believe the world operates in absolutes, in black and white and short and tall - I like living in the gray, in the medium.

"I sat and wondered, Why do I laugh at home, but feel shamed out in the world? With my family and close friends, I am owning my past, relishing in the absurdity, slightly flinching at my own naïveté, and giving myself props for the unabashed bravery that streaked through my youth. But not trying to hide from it, not trying to change it, just allowing it to help propel me forward.

"When I am out in the world naked and vulnerable, I acknowledge that I was young, had a lot of freedom, and made some 'bad decisions' ... but how bad are they if it's part of a journey to understanding who I am and what I stand for?"

And Nicole - who has Harlow, eight, and Sparrow, seven, with her husband Joel Madden - also spoke about the "utter freedom" she feels she has because she is open about her past.

Penning an essay for Lena Dunham's Lenny newsletter, she added: "Mostly, the utter freedom I experience from having all of my past out in the open allows me to truly accept and embrace my former self, allowing her and every subsequent version of me to know that we are going to be OK, because we are not static ...

"I've been given many titles: Wild child. Reality star. White-washed black girl. Skinny. Rich. (I guess the last two aren't so bad). Now, at 35, the only titles I am taking on are the ones I give myself."