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Time for my boyfriend to go

Time for my boyfriend to go

Dear Maura

My boyfriend has been living with us for the past year but the relationship is coming to an end for me.

I’m 22 and going in to my second year in college.

I enjoy my course and I’ve met some great people.

The problem is that he came to stay with us because his home situation was really bad.

He had huge rows with his dad and things got really rough.

It was my mom who suggested that he could stay with us for a while until he got sorted.

I guess he just got comfortable with us.

He had a nice family situation in our house and he got lazy.

My parents felt sorry for him and after a while they stopped asking him about finding somewhere to stay.

I’m bored with the same routine.

It’s almost as if we are married.

He has a job he doesn’t really like.

He doesn’t do anything else.

When I come home from college he wants to go out but I need to study or I’ve had a busy day and I don’t feel like doing anything.

The thoughts of going through all of that again!

I want to go away next summer and already he’s asking me to stay with him.

He needs to move out but how?


This ‘good Samaritan’ gesture has essentially hemmed you into a relationship that you are now weary of.

Your parents’ help was very generous but misplaced.

They needed to push your boyfriend to take control of his own life beginning with finding a place of his own. You need to talk to them and explain what is happening for you in the relationship.

Clearly you have moved on so much in your life with college and all that goes with that experience.

You can’t fully embrace all your potential at the moment. I feel for your boyfriend and all that he has had to deal with.

However, he needs to resolve any issue he has with his family. Nothing can be gained by continuing with this relationship feeling as you do.