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Relative's out to dig up my past

Problem PagesBy Maura O'Neill
Relative's out to dig up my past

I’m a 46 year old woman and when I was 25 years of age I had a child for a local man but I only told two people who the father was, one was my son who was entitled to know who his dad was and the other was an uncle who has always been kind to me.

When everyone heard I was expecting they were shocked.

I was the tomboy of the family and I never had any boyfriends.

I enjoy my life and always have up until recently.

An elderly relation of ours has come back from the states visiting for a while.

He’s on what you could say is his last ever visit.

But I wish he would pack up and go home today.

He’s made it his mission to find out who my son’s father is and is making life very uncomfortable for us.

He keeps throwing out names in the hope of getting some kind of reaction.

Should I just tell him the man’s name to shut him up or what should I do?

He could be here for another month and I can’t cope with this much less my son who thankfully is away at college and out of here.


This visiting relative of yours has opened up a painful time in your past.

You got pregnant by a man who was from the area and was someone perhaps you trusted.

I can imagine the panic when you discovered you were pregnant and the anxiety of telling everyone.

However, you made the decision not to tell the name of the father and have stuck to that.

You made that decision as a mature young woman.

Your meddling old relative for some reason can’t leave well alone.

This part of the family history is none of his business.

You and your uncle need to meet with him together and very firmly tell him just that.

Show your anger and disappointment at the way your past is being dug up.

Hopefully they will find the decency and respect to leave your past alone.