Relationships & SexProblem Pages

I've been married 15 years and my husband is a one-trick pony in bed

Problem PagesBy Maura O'Neill
I’ve been married for 15 years and my sex life is a boring routine
I’ve been married for 15 years and my sex life is a boring routine

Dear Maura,

I’ve been married for 15 years and my sex life is a boring routine. My husband is the classic one trick pony.
He loves going on top during the week, usually a Thursday and then I get a go on top  sometime at the weekend. There might be a quickie from behind some morning early in the week. 
I tried to do a few things different but he just wasn’t buying it so I got lazy myself and that’s whenthe routine kicked in. The problem is now that it’s too functional. I can’t remember the last time Iactually looked into my husband’s eyes and longed to have sex with him.
The reason I’m writing isthat there was a great sex scene in a film on TV the other night and when we were watching it all I could think of is that we’re never like that. We don’t hold each other or talk after sex. We just go asleep.
I want more but I’m not sure it’s with my husband. I would love to be with a man who could really make me feel special. I want to look into his eyes and feel myself getting excited. I’m depressed about this situation because I don’t see a way out. 
Maura says: You are both partners in crime, if I can put it like that, because you have killed off any feeling of intimacy between you. The word ‘functional’ that you used, perfectly describes what amounts to your sex life at the moment. But the two of you are to blame.
The only difference is that your husband doesn’t seem to want anything different to you, he’s happy perfecting his one trick.
You want intimacy and that’s why you fantasise about another man. It must have been different for you at the start of your relationship. Surely the chemistry between you meant that you had that something special. You will need to start from scratch again, get him involved and don’t fall into your old habits.