Relationships & SexProblem Pages

Friends don’t like my man

Problem PagesBy Maura O'Neill
Friends don’t like my man

Dear Maura,

I had a relationship with a man five years ago and I ended it because everyone was saying he was not right for me.

I’m 35 now and we’ve started seeing each other again – but nobody knows.

He agrees we should take our time and see how we get on. So far so good and it’s been two months.

The problem is that although I’m happy now I know for a fact that when we do go public my friends will start at me and I will see things that are wrong with this man that I had forgotten or hadn’t seen before.

How can I stop thinking about what others say and just get on with my own life?

Maura says:

It’s very difficult to work out what exactly is going on here.

Let me start by asking you do you like or love this man?

Because it doesn’t come across as if you do.

What are your friends saying about him that puts you off?

You really need to grow up and take ownership of your feelings.

It’s not fair on this guy that you should take him back hoping that nobody will see you out together.

Which begs the question why did you go back to this relationship?

Forget what your friends have been saying. If you like him and want to be with him, and the feeling is mutual, you have to trust your instincts.

Have confidence in yourself.