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Neat freak love drives me crazy

Relationships & SexBy Maura O'Neill
Neat freak love drives me crazy

Dear Maura

I live with my boyfriend who is a neat fanatic.

He is seriously fixated on keeping the place clean.

The pressure he puts on himself to have everything in order is not funny.

He has to get up nearly an hour earlier so that everything is perfect when he leaves for work.

I’ve tried to get him to talk about it but he says it’s just the way he is.

His sister is exactly the same.

They had a kind of weird childhood which he won’t talk about so I’m wondering if that’s part of it.

I think he should get some help. He’s a nervous wreck trying to be perfect and he has me the same trying to keep up with him.

MAURA SAYS:

He needs to have control in his life; disorder just can’t happen even if that’s a cup left on the draining board instead of being in the dishwasher.

I think you are right to be concerned for him.

What is this craving for neatness and order concealing or what has triggered this behaviour?

I would imagine he would like to be less stressed and with gentle persuasion he could be persuaded to talk to someone.

He’s been bottling up certain things, like his childhood, and having everything in order helps to keep these issues locked down.