Relationships & SexDr Angela

Why does my man need porn before we have sex?

Dr AngelaBy Dr. Angela Brokmann
Why does my man need porn before we have sex?

Dear Angela

My husband (33) and I (26) have a fabulous sex life. We make love three to four times a week, and always reach an orgasm. We love the same sex games and positions. There is just one difference: he likes to watch porn before sex, while I’d rather watch a romantic movie.

I don’t mind love scenes, they can turn me on, but there needs to be some story behind it. He and I always find a compromise, so this is no big problem but I wonder where these differences in our tastes come from. Is this a natural difference between men and women?

ANGELA SAYS: When it comes to love and sex, men react stronger to visual stimulation, while women are more responsive to feelings. Accordingly, men prefer strong visual stimuli from sexy outfits to pornography, while women  prefer stimuli that appeal to their emotions, from loving words to sensual touches and romantic film scenes. A prime example of the different tastes of men and women are their porn preferences: men prefer hardcore with explicit images that leave nothing to the imagination, while women prefer soft porn, less explicit and ideally with a romantic or emotive story line.

 

Should I have a fling?

 

Dear Angela

My husband (51) and I (37)  share our house with his younger brother (35). My husband is away a lot. Sometimes when I feel lonely I wonder if it’d be ok to have a fling with his brother. I can tell he is in love with me and am afraid if I slept with him he’d  get clingy and then my husband would find out.

ANGELA SAYS: A fling would  put your marriage at risk. It’s too close to home -  if things go sour, you’re all stuck under the same roof.

And he’s your husband’s brother – he should be taboo for you. If you really need a fling, go for a one night stand without commitment and consequences, it’s the least complicated and ‘fairest’ way of cheating.

 If you feel the need for a sexual adventure, there is possibly something amiss in your marriage. Before you cheat on your husband, try to get your marriage on track.

 

I need a cooler sex position

Dear Angela

My husband (42) and I (38) will go on a holiday to Spain. He hates air conditioning so we always sleep without. That’s not too bad, but I hate making love when it’s so hot. With him on top of me, even if it’s only for ten minutes, I overheat completely. I can’t enjoy sex like that.

We never tried another position yet, but it’s time. Is there one that’s more comfortable in the heat?

ANGELA SAYS: Get on top of your husband,  let him be the one who’s getting squeezed in between the mattress and a hot body. Don’t lie down on him, just sit on top to allow cooling air onto your skin. For best effects, wear a wet t-shirt – it ‘ll look sexy. Play with ice cubes; run them over each others skin. You could also try the doggy style position where you kneel on the bed with your husband behind you.