Relationships & SexDr Angela

When is the right time to ask a girl on a date?

Dr AngelaBy Dr. Angela Brokmann
Should I be worried, not having had a date?
Should I be worried, not having had a date?

Dear Angela

I (19) never had a real date yet. Every time I meet a nice girl I mess things up. When I was 17 I asked a girl for a date shortly after we’d met for the first time. She rebuffed me because she thought I only wanted sex from her. Another time, I waited weeks, but that girl said she doesn’t go out with guys she hardly knows.

With the last girl I didn’t want to rush things...but another guy came along and asked her out. When is the right time to ask a girl out?

ANGELA SAYS:  There is no ‘right’ time to ask a girl out – the best time depends on the girl, on you and on the situation you are in. Some girls love to be asked out straight away, others like guys who wait or guys who play cool and hard to get.

Most girls prefer something in between: a guy who doesn’t rush things but admires them from a little distance for a short while, giving the impression that he is really interested and not only looking for sex.

To see if a girl is interested in you, try to read her body language. Is she sending out encouraging signals? Does she smile at you? Does she hold eye contact? Does she turn into your direction when you’re near? If you keep your eyes open you’ll learn to read body language.


I’m dependant on sex

Dear Angela

I (26) am in a relationship with a bad man (31). He expects me to do all the housework, gives out to me all the time, humiliates me in front of his friends. He doesn’t allow me to have friends, and he cheats on me. But he gives me the best sex I’ve ever had.

I  orgasm every time. He’s only nice to me in bed. People say I should leave him, but I am sexually dependant on him. I need him, but he’s destroying my life.

ANGELA SAYS: You are aware that the relationship you’re in is disastrous for you – that’s an important first step. Now work on your independence; meet people, make friends. Don’t stay in waiting for him to come home - go and socialise. Your independence and your self-esteem will improve and you’ll feel strong enough to cut the ties and leave this relationship.

Get support from family and friends. You might feel you are sexually dependant on him, but you don’t depend on him. He’s not irreplaceable – you can show any man how to satisfy you sexually.


He can’t get it up at his home

Dear Angela

My boyfriend (23) has a strange problem. He is still living at home with his parents, and when I visit he can’t get an erection when we try to sleep together. Everything works fine when he stays at my place. We’ve been together for a year. Why can’t he sleep with me at his parents’ house, is this some kind of impotence? And how can we solve it?

ANGELA SAYS: He suffers from situational erectile dysfunction, a problem caused by the situation and environment you are in. It’s possible that he was afraid that his parents might hear you, or maybe he had a bad experience at home in his past? Talk to him to find out where the problem comes from as it will help him to get over it. Don’t put him under pressure; most likely he’s embarrassed and worried. Assure him that it’s no big deal and that you’ll work it out.