Relationships & SexDr Angela

Should I shave my pubic hair for him?

Dr AngelaBy Dr. Angela Brokmann
My boyfriend asked me to shave for him
My boyfriend asked me to shave for him

Should I shave for him? When I (26) shared a bubble bath with my boyfriend (33) the other day he said that he’d love to see what I look like without my pubic hair. He left it at that, he’s very shy. And now I’m wondering whether he wants me to shave my pubic hair for him? I wouldn’t mind but I’m not sure whether he’d really like it. What do you think, should I just shave for him as a surprise, or should I check with him beforehand?

ANGELA SAYS:  Many men would love to see their women clean shaved, so if you’d like to surprise your boyfriend, go ahead – you can’t go too wrong. As an alternative, you could turn this into an erotic game: next time you’re sharing a bath with your boyfriend, invite him to shave you. Go for a wet shave; the whole procedure, from soaping up to shaving and applying a soothing lotion can be an extremely sexy adventure. And the game is perfectly suitable for shy guys.

Looking for sex toy

I (25) need clitoral stimulation during intercourse, that’s the only way I can achieve an orgasm. My boyfriend tries really hard to stimulate me, but he never finds the right touch, he is just too clumsy. We tried a vibrator but while it’s great for foreplay it gets in the way when we sleep together. Is there another sex toy we could try, something small and easy to handle?

ANGELA SAYS: Sure, try a finger tingler, that’s a tiny vibrator: all your boyfriend has to do is attach the toy to his finger with the built-in ring or clamp and hold it against your clitoris. You could also try a penis ring with attached vibrator. You can find both toys on the internet.

Do I need a shower before sex?

My ex wife (38) was a hygiene nut, she never slept with me unless I (41) had a shower beforehand. And whenever I worked up some sweat making love, she doused me in body spray. My new girlfriend is completely different, she loves to have what she calls dirty sex, like after we’ve been to the gym, or out for a jog. She often complains that I’m showering too often and that I’m putting on too much body spray. This has me totally confused. I don’t care what my girlfriend smells like when we have sex, but obviously women see this differently. Anyway, what are the rules here, should I shower before sex, or should I leave it? And should I use body spray?

ANGELA SAYS: Smell plays an important part in the sexual attraction between two people. Your smell is a mix of natural and artificial scents, depending on your hygiene, your hormones, your diet, your soaps and sprays and much more. Strong body odour won’t earn you any points on the erotic scale, but erasing all traces of your natural smell won’t work for you either. For best effects, you need to find the right balance. If you plan to have sex, have a shower beforehand to make sure you smell and taste your best – but don’t douse yourself in eye-watering clouds of body spray. Use body spray sparingly, put a bit under your armpits before sex, and that’s it. And although it’s nice to start sex smelling fresh and clean, it’s part of the game to work up a good sweat. So don’t be afraid to get sweaty, its part of the fun.

What are autoerotic games?

I (37) am chatting with some guys on the internet, just for fun. One of the guys said the other night that he likes to play autoerotic games, and he asked do I like them as well. I said yes and that really turned him on. I thought autoerotic games means having sex in a car, but when I told my best friend about this
she laughed and said that it means masturbation but she wasn’t sure. Can you please clarify this, what does autoerotic really mean?

ANGELA SAYS: Auto is the German word for car, so lots of people think that autoerotic games means sex in a car. But auto is also a Greek prefix meaning same or self. And autoerotic games are games that you play by yourself, like masturbation. So basically, you told your chat mate that you like to masturbate – no wonder this turned him on big time.

Can my parents tell that I had sex?

A couple of weeks ago I (18) had sex for the first time. It was with a guy I didn’t really know so I didn’t tell my parents about it, they’d be furious. I told my best friend what happened and she said that my parents can tell that I had sex, is that true? Does your body change when you have sex, are there any visible signs that will give me away?

ANGELA SAYS: When you have intercourse for the first time your hymen breaks – the hymen is a tiny membrane at the vaginal entrance. That’s the only physical sign that could give you away. So your parents won’t be able to tell that you lost your virginity, at least not by any physical changes to your body. That said, it’s well possible that they sense a change in you, especially your mom, so she might guess that you had sex. But unless you confide in her, there is no way she can tell for sure.

Girlfriend compares him with her ex

My new girlfriend (24) is driving me mad. She’d been with another guy for 3 years, but that was ages ago. Still, she keeps talking about this guy all the time. Whatever I do, the ex boyfriend was better. Above all, he was a better lover: he made her come all the time, he could last longer, he always found the right spots. She’s always giving me instructions in bed, setting her ex as an example. I’m getting fed up with this. I don’t want to hear another word about this ex boyfriend, and I want to make love to my girlfriend my own way, and not the way her boyfriend used to do it. I think I could make her happy, if she’d only give me a chance. But my girlfriend is obsessed with her ex, and I don’t know how to deal with this.

ANGELA SAYS: Have a serious chat with your girlfriend. Be honest with her, and tell her that you don’t want to hear another word about her ex boyfriend anymore. It’s not fair of her to compare you with her ex all the time, and to expect you to fit into his shoes. Your girlfriend needs to understand that she has to leave the past behind, and that you can only be happy together if she accepts you the way you are. Don’t feel inferior to her ex; you have your own strengths and qualities, and you can make your girlfriend happy your own way.