I want to play out my fantasies in bedroom
Dear Angela I (36) really love looking at movies at home, and I also love movie stars.
When I make love with my boyfriend, I often fantasise about one of my favourite actors, and pretend I’m having sex with him instead. The other night I asked my boyfriend to just play along and pretend he’s Johnny Depp, but he said he’d feel kind of stupid doing that and then he asked whether he’s not good enough for me anymore and we ended up having a stupid fight.
But I don’t want to give up on the idea, I really want to try role-playing. How can I convince my boyfriend that it’s all just a bit of fun and to give it a try and play along? Or are my fantasies too stupid?
ANGELA SAYS: Your fantasies aren’t stupid at all. Many girls – and guys - fantasise about somebody else when they have sex with their partner; it’s a harmless way of making your love life a bit more exciting. Most people keep these fantasies to themselves, either because they are too shy to talk about them, or because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings.
Other guys and girls are more open-minded and talk about their wishes. Have a heart to heart with your boyfriend; assure him that you love and fancy him; explain that role-playing is only a game, a harmless way of spicing up your sex life. Ask him to give it a try. If he is still reluctant, offer him a deal: ask if there is any game that HE would like to try out, and if it’s something you feel comfortable with, offer to play along if he plays along as well.
Do you need a new condom when you change positions during sex?
When we make love, my boyfriend (23) changes position at least 2-3 times. I (24) have read in a magazine somewhere that you should change the condom every time you change sexual position and I’m wondering whether that’s really necessary. I’m just asking because it spoils the fun a bit for me, and it’s also quite expensive.
ANGELA SAYS: If you’re changing from one vaginal position to another there is no need to change the condom every time, as long as your partner doesn’t ejaculate and as long as the condom doesn’t get damaged or slips off in transit. But you need to change the condom when you change from anal sex to vaginal intercourse, or if you swap to oral sex.
My new partner (52) is a fantastic lover; he is patient and caring and he always looks after me in bed. I know how lucky I am to have such a perfect gentleman as a partner. But to be honest, sometimes I wish he’d be more passionate and spontaneous.
I’d love the odd quickie now and then, not only in bed but in all kinds of places around the house. But my partner only ever has sex in bed, and then he always treats me to a long session that lasts at least an hour.
ANGELA SAYS: If you want more passion and spontaneity, take the initiative – don’t wait for your partner to change his ways, as that might never happen. Seduce him in mad places around the house, wherever you fancy.
And if he tries to turn your spontaneous quickie into a long session, just tell him that a quickie is all you want. Your initiative might take him by surprise, but I’m sure he’ll be happy to play along.