Relationships & SexDr Angela

How can I delay her orgasm?

Dr AngelaBy Dr. Angela Brokmann
She wants me to slow it down... but I don't know how
She wants me to slow it down... but I don't know how

Dear Angela

My girlfriend (37) says she is coming too quick and wants me to delay her orgasm. I have no idea what I could do. I’m afraid to take breaks during sex or to stop stimulating her as I know women can lose their arousal from one second to the next, and then you have to start all over again. Is there any trick that’d work?

ANGELA SAYS: Delaying a woman’s orgasm is a tricky task. A woman’s arousal level can drop from 100 to zero before you realise what’s happening, so to delay orgasm, the right timing is crucial.

Take little breaks during sex, but don’t keep her in suspense for more than a few seconds. Don’t stop more than four to five times overall or she might become too sensitive.

She needs to communicate with you; ask her to let you know when to stop and when to continue, and to give you feedback.

 

He should leave his marriage for me

 

Dear Angela

For 10 months, I (43) had an affair with a married man. He was having a tough time with his wife - she was in a bad mood all the time and he wasn’t getting any sex at home. We met at my apartment once or twice a week and all was fine, until his wife became suspicious and checked his mobile. Instead of kicking him out, she told him she still loves him and forgives him...on the condition he stops seeing me.

So he rang me and told me it’s over between us. I don’t understand how he can be such a fool - in a few weeks she’ll be nagging again. But he doesn’t listen to me, he says he loves her more than  me, and he doesn’t want to lose her and the kids.

It’s so unfair, I was there for him when he was having a bad time at home - and now he drops me. I want him to feel bad, and I want him to end his marriage.

ANGELA SAYS:  It’s understandable that you feel hurt and upset, and it’s fine if you want to give your lover an earful. But don’t put him under pressure. If he wants to end your affair and try to save his marriage, you should accept his decision, especially if he has kids at home. The situation is frustrating and disappointing for you, but that’s the risk you take when you get involved with a married man.

 

All sex and no love

Dear Angela

I (32) am going out with a lovely woman. She’s smart, good-looking and great fun...but I’m not in love with her. And she’s not in love with me. We really like each other, and have fab sex. Sometimes I think good sex is not enough for a relationship - I feel I shouldn’t date somebody I’m not in love with.

She says we should keep seeing each other as long as we enjoy the sex and each other’s company.

ANGELA SAYS:  Sure, if she is happy with the arrangement and if you want to keep seeing her. Many guys and girls date people they’re not in love with. It  might not be an ideal situation, but it’s ok as long as both involved are ok with it. Talk to her about your feelings, be honest with each other, and respect each other. You never know, you might even fall in love one day.

 

Can a 69 work for lesbians?

Dear Angela

I (20) am chatting with another girl online. At first it felt strange to flirt and chat with a girl, but it was exciting and now I enjoy it. She told me about some of the stuff she’s done in bed with other women. It was amazing, I had no idea how girls make love to each other.

She mentioned the 69 position. Can girls really practice this position? I thought 69 means mutual oral sex between a man and a woman?

ANGELA SAYS: No, the 69 stands for mutual oral sex between two partners – this can be two women, two men, or a woman and a man. The number 69 only illustrates the way the partners’ bodies are positioned - one is lying upside down to the other - regardless of the couple’s gender.