Relationships & SexDr Angela

He wants me in undies doing the housework

He wants me in undies doing the housework

Dear Angela

I (26) moved in with my boyfriend (30) five weeks ago, and there is trouble already: my boyfriend asked me would I mind doing my part of the housework in sexy lingerie or in the nude for a change.

Of course I mind, and I made that very clear to him. I don’t understand what got into my boyfriend, how can he think I’d scrub the house in the nude while he sits back and watches?

I thought he loved and respected me, but now I’m not sure anymore. I’m even thinking of moving out again.

ANGELA SAYS: Don’t overreact. I’m sure your boyfriend didn’t mean any harm, and he surely didn’t mean to show you any disrespect. Watching their loved one working around the house in the nip or in sexy lingerie is just one of those things that men can get turned on by.

More than every second Irish man (59 per cent) has fantasised about it. It’s a kinky but harmless sex game that should be approached with a playful attitude.

Of course you don’t have to play along, but there is no need either to go all serious on your boyfriend, or to leave him over something so trivial.


She dozed off while we were having a sex session

Dear Angela   

My girlfriend (33) and I (37) have been together for just over two years.

We’re getting on great and I thought my girlfriend still liked to sleep with me, until a few weeks ago.

We were having sex that night and I was going real slow to prolong intercourse. Then after about 15 minutes I noticed that my girlfriend wasn’t moving anymore, and next all I heard was her snoring.

I couldn’t believe it, she’d fallen asleep with me on top of her. When I asked what’s wrong she just rolled onto her side and kept snoring away.

The next morning she didn’t say anything, like she didn’t remember what happened. I didn’t know what to do so I didn’t say anything either. But to be honest, this has shattered my confidence.

I’d like to talk to my girlfriend about this, but I don’t know how to bring it up.

ANGELA SAYS: Don’t take this little snoring incident too seriously.

Maybe your girlfriend didn’t feel well that night, or maybe she was too tired for some reason. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t fancy you anymore, or that she doesn’t like sex with you anymore.

These things happen — it has actually happened to one out of every 20 Irish men.

Unless your girlfriend falls asleep on you again there is no point in bringing it up.


Can he tell if I masturbate?

Dear Angela   

My boyfriend and I don’t sleep together yet but sometimes we touch each other up. We never go all the way, so I never have an orgasm and that’s really frustrating.

The other night we had touched for almost an hour and I was so aroused that I really wanted an orgasm, so I sneaked out to the bathroom for a couple of minutes and made myself come.

When I went back into my boyfriend’s room I felt bad, and I was afraid that he’d find out that I touched myself and that would have been so embarrassing. I think he didn’t notice, but I’m not sure.

Can a boy tell when a girl masturbates?

ANGELA SAYS: If he knows what signs to look out for, a man can tell whether a woman is sexually aroused or not – but unless he has had a lot of experience he can’t tell whether a girl has touched herself or had an orgasm. Maybe your boyfriend guessed what happened but that wouldn’t be such a big deal. You didn’t do anything wrong, you only touched yourself and that is perfectly fine. And it’s certainly nothing to feel bad about.


Boyfriend had sex with a tree

Dear Angela   

The other night I (22) asked my new boyfriend what was the kinkiest and weirdest thing he’s ever done in his sex life. I thought he’d come out with maybe admitting to a threesome or something like that, but he said the weirdest thing he’s ever done was having sex with a tree.

He said that as a teenager he used to get turned on by rubbing himself off a tree trunk in his parents’ back garden. I don’t know whether I should believe this. Is there some kind of fetish like this, is my boyfriend a fetishist?

ANGELA SAYS: There actually is a fetish involving trees, but it’s extremely rare. Sexual attraction to trees is called dendrophilia. A dendrophiliac becomes sexually aroused by trees, and uses tree trunks, branches, leaves or any other part of trees for sexual stimulation.

Now, it’s well possible that your boyfriend rubbed himself off a tree trunk when he was younger, but that doesn’t necessarily make him a tree fetishist — guys experiment with a wide variety of unusual objects for sexual stimulation, but I’d only call it a fetish if somebody becomes fixated on one particular way of finding pleasure.