Relationships & SexDr Angela

He just wants sex, not talk, after a fight

Dr AngelaBy Dr. Angela Brokmann
Boyfriend wants sex straight after an argument
Boyfriend wants sex straight after an argument

Dear Angela

My boyfriend (26) and I (24) used to get on great, but for the last few weeks we’ve been fighting constantly. I’d like to talk about our difficulties to work things out, but he is not a big talker. Every time I start he just takes me into his arms and makes love to me.

His lovemaking is much more passionate when we’ve had a fight, and it always makes us forget our quarrels. Still, I wish we could talk about things as well.

ANGELA SAYS: Making love is a great way of making up. But sex, even if it’s great and passionate, can’t solve the problems you might have in your relationship. If there are serious or recurring issues you need to talk about them. The best thing to do after a quarrel is make love to get all the bad vibes out of the way - then talk about everything that’s bothering you.


Parents’ secret sex toy stash in safe is worrying 

Dear Angela

My parents have a safe in their bedroom. They told me it’s for personal documents and valuables and I was never to look inside. I was always curious, so when they left it open one day I had a peek inside. They keep a huge selection of sex toys in that safe. I was totally shocked.

There were vibrators and funny-looking condoms, whips, handcuffs, masks, clamps and a harness. I know some people mess around with stuff like this; I’ve read 50 Shades so I have a good idea of what goes on. But my own parents?

I didn’t even know they’re still having sex. What’s going on? I’m worried they don’t love each other anymore.

ANGELA SAYS: I can understand your concerns. But parents are just normal people with sexual feelings and needs. While some are happy to stick with an ‘ordinary’ sex life without any frills, others are more adventurous minded and play with sex toys. Bondage toys like the ones you found in your parents’ safe are in at the moment.

When couples use sex toys it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other anymore – it only shows that they still enjoy their love life, and that’s perfectly fine and normal. So there is no need to worry about your parents.


My man masturbates

Dear Angela

My boyfriend (21) and I (22) have been living together for three months and I caught him masturbating four times. He says masturbating is normal, all the guys are doing it. I think he has a problem. We sleep together several times a week so he has no need to masturbate.

ANGELA SAYS: I can’t see any problem, apart from your attitude towards masturbation. It’s normal for guys – and girls - to masturbate while they are in a steady relationship.

Men have a stronger sex drive than women - they want sex more often and they masturbate more often. That’s fine as long as sex and masturbation doesn’t turn into an obsession.

Sometimes people just wish to release sexual tension without having to cater to their partner’s wishes and needs, so they masturbate instead.


Where can I find a woman?

Dear Angela

I (53) am looking for a woman I can marry and share my life with. I’m going to my local pub every weekend but I’ve never met anybody interesting.

I can hardly work my mobile phone so internet dating is certainly not an option for me. Where could I meet a woman the old fashioned way? Is that still possible?

ANGELA SAYS:  You have to look in the right places. Most women like dancing, so look out for venues that organise dance nights. You don’t have to be a gifted ballroom dancer, but you need to master the basics. Take a few lessons, it will be worth the investment.

If dancing is not for you, enrol for an art, drama or  photography class. Take a cookery course, join a choir, get involved in your local sports club or Tidy Towns team, book a singles holiday.