Relationships & SexDr Angela

Dr Angela reveals Ireland's Top 50 sex questions: Part 3

Dr AngelaBy Dr. Angela Brokmann
Dr Angela answers all your questions
Dr Angela answers all your questions

Is there anything you always wanted to know about sex but were too shy to ask?

Do you have a problem that keeps bothering you, or is there something you're just curious about?

Whatever might be on your mind - don't be shy to ask.

I've been a sex expert for more than 25 years, and have answered thousands of questions from basic to extremely kinky - but people still surprise me the odd time with a question I’ve never been asked before.

After going through some queries on male and female genitalia in Part 1, and sexual positions and orgasms in Part 2, here Dr Angela looks at contraception, safe sex and the first time.


CONTRACEPTION AND SAFE SEX

All the condoms I tried so far were the wrong size for me – Can I find condoms that fit?

There is a good selection of special sized condoms on the market these days. If you can’t find fitting condom in your local store or pharmacy, go on the internet. Search for ‘condoms to fit’ and you’ll find what you are looking for – extra small condoms, large ones, slim fits, and many more. It’s important that a condom fits properly, so have a good look around.

When is it safe to have sex without a condom?

Condoms protect you not only from pregnancy, but from STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) as well. Making love without a condom is safe only if you use another reliable method of contraception, if you can be sure that both you and your partner are healthy, and if you both never have sex with others.

When I sleep with a new partner, is there a cool way to put the condom on him?

When you’re in bed with a new partner forget about fiddly techniques, like putting on the condom with your lips. Just put the condom on as quickly as possible. Take him in your hand, stick the condom on and unroll it in a swift movement – that’s quick and cool, and it’s done before your man even knows what hit him.

Can I use tampons for protection?

No, ordinary tampons can’t protect you from pregnancy, and they can’t protect you from STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) either. To protect yourself from both, use condoms.


THE FIRST TIME

I don’t want sex yet but my boyfriend can’t wait any longer – should I give in?

No - don’t let your boyfriend put you under pressure. Tell him that you don’t feel ready to sleep with him. If he loves you he should understand that, and be willing to wait. Your first time is very special, and you will enjoy it much more if you wait until you’re ready for it.

Can a girl get pregnant the first time?

Yes - a girl can get pregnant when sperm enters her vagina, regardless of whether it’s her first time or whether she’s had intercourse before. So you need protection. The best to do is use a condom, it protects not only from pregnancy but from STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) as well.

When we first sleep together, is there any way a boy can tell whether I am still a virgin or not?

If a girl’s hymen – a tiny membrane at the vaginal entrance – is still intact, it shows that the girl is still a virgin. If it’s not intact though, that doesn’t mean anything as the hymen can not only break during intercourse but also due to physical exercise or the use of tampons. If the hymen is intact, it breaks when you have your first intercourse. This usually leads to some bleeding, but not always… So it’s almost impossible for a boy to tell for sure whether a girl is a virgin or not.

What is the best age for the First Time? Is there any rush in getting it over with?

There is no ‘perfect’ age for the first intercourse, it depends on the circumstances. Ideally you should be in a loving and trusting relationship. So hold on to your virginity until you fall in love. Make your first sexual experiences one step at a time. Don’t rush from your first kiss to your first intercourse - there are many steps in between that you should experience before you sleep with somebody. On average, guys and girls start having sex at the age if 16, but others only start in their early twenties. With hindsight, most folks believe that they would have enjoyed their first time much more if they had waited another year or two.