Relationships & SexDr Angela

Dr Angela reveals Ireland's Top 10 sex problems; Part 2

Don't be afraid to spice things up
Don't be afraid to spice things up

Our resident sex expert Dr Angela Brokmann has heard all sorts of personal, kinky and often odd problems. Here are the most popular topics...

Over the last few years, I’ve answered thousands of sex questions, from basic enquiries about orgasms and penis size to real kinky queries about secret fantasies and fetish play.

And every time I think that I’ve surely covered it all, there is a new letter or email coming my way with a question I’ve never been asked before. 

Whatever’s on your mind, don’t be shy to ask. When it comes to sex there is no such thing as a stupid question - and no question is too embarrassing or daring.

If you missed it, here is PART 1 of the top ten questions I was asked this year,  covering the most common issues and problems.

And now here is PART 2:

Q: Is it ok to fake an orgasm?

It is OK to fake an orgasm the odd time, but it shouldn’t become a habit. If you’ve been faking for a long time, there is no need to tell your partner – just stop faking and tell or show him how he should kiss and caress you to make you come for real. It’s up to you; let your partner know what he should do for you in bed – without your feedback he’ll never learn how to satisfy you.

Q: Should I confess to a fling?

No, keep your fling to yourself, especially if it’s over. There are many reasons why you might want to tell your partner, from revenge to heartfelt remorse. But while a confession might make you feel better, it would make your partner feel worse. And it wouldn’t be fair to unburden your conscience at your partner’s expense.

Q: Our sex life has become  boring - how can we spice it up?

Let your fantasy play. Flirt, court and seduce each other. Widen your horizons. Experiment with new positions and sex games. Make love in new places - on the couch, in the kitchen, in the shower, wherever. Go lingerie shopping, pick out kinky sex toys, chance a porn movie, read a sex book together. Treat yourselves to a change of scenery, book a fancy hotel for a night or go away for a romantic weekend. 

Q: We want to get kinky, but not  harcore. How can we do ‘light’ bondage?

The most vital prerequisites of bondage games - even if you only play bondage light - are consent and trust. Discuss beforehand how far you are willing to go, and agree on a safe word that immediately stops whatever is going on. Tie you partner’s wrists to the bedposts with a soft material and loose knots that he or she can get out of anytime. For some extra kicks, use blindfolds, ice cubes, feather ticklers, clamps or fluffy handcuffs.

Q: She never has an orgasm - how can I make her come?

Treat your girl to a long foreplay. Kiss and tease, then massage her clitoris with light circling movements. Start slow and gentle, then gradually increase speed and pressure. If you can’t find the right touch, ask her for directions or let her guide your hand. When she is almost ready to climax, start making love. Keep caressing her clitoris while you are inside her.