Relationships & SexDr Angela

DEAR ANGELA: I’m not ready to show commitment

DEAR ANGELA:  I’m not ready to show commitment

Dear Angela: I (24) am seeing a lady who is 47, almost twice my age. We’re getting on well, but so far it’s been only a sexual relationship. Twice a week we meet for a couple of drinks, and then we go to her house for sex.

A few weeks ago she first mentioned that it’s time she meets my family, and now she’s nagging about it every time I see her. I don’t want her to meet my parents, at least not yet, and I told her that in a nice way. But she got angry and said it’s because of her age. But it’s not, I would feel exactly the same way if she was 20 years younger. I don’t bring girls home to my parents unless I’m serious about them. And I’m not in a serious relationship with this woman.

It’s possible that I’ll change my mind one day, but at this stage I’m not ready to show commitment or make any promises. I don’t know how to bring this across without hurting my lady friend’s feelings.


Dear Angela
When we sleep together, my husband stimulates me with a small vibrator that he slips over his finger.

It’s brilliant, all he has to do is hold it against my clitoris, it’s so much easier for him than stimulating me with his hand. I’m wondering whether there is a similar toy that we could use for oral sex, kind of an oral stimulator - is there anything like that?

ANGELA SAYS: Sure, what you need is a tongue vibrator, a waterproof bullet vibrator that your husband can slip over his tongue. It can also be attached to a finger, like the toy you’re playing with now, only that tongue vibrators are waterproof. You can find these toys online.


ANGELA SAYS: It’s nice that you’re trying to spare her feelings, but it’s best to be honest with her. Tell her how you feel, explain why you don’t feel ready to show commitment. If you’d like to continue your relationship, you could agree to meet some of your lady friend’s family, or maybe some of her friends to start with – but only if you feel up to it.

Dear Angela
I (35) have heard and read so much about bondage and S/M that I’d really like to try it out. The problem is that I don’t have a partner at the moment, and I don’t want to play games like that with a stranger. I was wondering, are there any bondage games that I could play on my own?

ANGELA SAYS: Don’t play bondage on your own, using restraints on your own is not safe at all – you could easily get yourself into a dangerous or even life-threatening situation, with nobody around to help you. If you’d like to get a taste of S/M, you could try out sex toys like nipple clamps and teasers, or clitoris clips. You find them on the internet.

Dear Angela
My penis is only about 4 inches long when erect. My new girlfriend hasn’t seen me naked yet, and I was wondering whether I should maybe shave my pubic hair before she sees me for the first time. I have heard that shaving will make my penis look bigger, is that true? Should I go for it? Do you think my girlfriend would be ok with it, or would it look weird?

ANGELA SAYS: Some girls like their men shaved down under, but a clear majority find a guy with pubic hair more masculine and attractive. Go for a compromise; give your pubic hair a neat trim instead of shaving it off completely - your penis will still look much bigger than before.